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Thursday, July 15, 2010

How to know you're a native washintonian, transplanted to Nebraska


In case you have trouble identifying yourself, here are some clues:

  • When you see the abbreviation "NE" you think it likely means "north east"
  • WSU obviously stands for Washington State University (where's Wichita again?)
  • When someone complains about "traffic" you tell them they haven't experienced traffic unless they've sat somewhere on the 1-5 corridor between 4-6pm on a Friday, or sat on US26 between Pullman and Colfax after a home game.
  • You don't recognize it's raining until it's done so for at least a couple hours, or maybe a few days in a row
  • Humidity makes you gasp and ask the nearest person if the world is about to end
  • You declare that the person who designs Nebraska license plates should probably keep their day job.
  • You wonder when the Midwest will grow up and sprout some mountains
  • People chastise you, and sometimes even laugh, for the nalgene bottle you carry around with you everywhere - on it's own REI carabeaner no-less
  • You wonder "Who is Dorothy Lynch?" and "What is wrong with the bright red hot-dogs"?
  • You are amazed that there is actually a "minimum speed" posted right along side the speed limit on the interstate
  • You grab your family and start digging a sub-basement at the very thought of a tornado
  • You shop at Hy-Vee, close your eyes, and imagine you're at Safeway
  • You shop at Super-Saver, close your eyes, and imagine you're at Winco
  • You recall your parents telling you they paid more than TWICE for their home what you did for yours - and they bought theirs 20 years prior
  • You think there really could be a small club for Subaru Forester owners, all of whom could fit comfortably in the local highschool gym
  • People ask you what this "north-face" thing is all about, and why you and your husband both support them
  • You frequent FOUR different health-food stores and STILL cannot come up with the variety of edibles found exclusively at Trader Joes (and yet you're hopeful that the rumor about one being built 45 miles North, in Omaha, is true!!)
  • At times, you begin to wonder if "culture" means much more than yogurt
  • You DREAM of the day when Clearwire comes to the middle of the country.
  • You laugh under your breath when you hear what your friends back home are paying for gas - (and cars - and houses - and food...)
and last but not least (as I'm SURE I'll continue to think of these throughout the day)

  • You LONG for the Puget Sound, the crisp waterfront air, the Cascade mountains, to whom you bid farewell last Christmas and vowed to return the following year.

5 comments:

steve_macd said...

It's funny because I commented to Michelle (Mrs. Steve) when we were in Seattle last month that it seems like one of every five cars is a Forester.

shhyouaretired said...

I thought of one: "You wonder about these crazy conservatives who voted for the losing presidential candidate in this red state, while you enjoy an unemployment rate that is approximately half of the state from which you came, driving around using cheaper gasoline, with a belly full of cheaper food, able to look up and see the sun." :-D

shhyouaretired said...

Another one: "You marvel at the fact that when you tell someone from another state where you live, you don't have to say the word "state" after "Nebraska"."

Jared said...

Since living in Wichita, KS, since 2007, I have even found myself calling Wichita State University WSU.....:)

I so agreed with so many of the differences! What a funny post.

My thing is the streets in Wichita sometimes having to one-way signs (pointing in opposite directions) on a two-way road right off the highway.

shhyouaretired said...

The weird thing about Wichita is that it's LEGAL to drive OVER the medians... drives me crazy!