NOT ME Monday

I'm sure YOU never do anything that would later cause you to look back on your own actions with embarrassment. After all, I NEVER do anything like that. I'm that one woman you dream of being who has every little detail under control, whose child never misses a step, and whose husband always finishes each and every item on his honey-do list a day before it's due date. 'cause honey-do lists have due dates, dont'cha know.

Anyway, in my great perfection, here are some of the things I did NOT do this week:

• I did Not start my week by walking up to a woman at Green Lake (in Seattle) and thanking her for nursing her toddler in public. Although this is certainly a thing a "lactivist" like myself would do, it could embarrass the poor woman and I'm thoughtful enough to wait until she's finished feeding her child
• The following morning, upon arriving at the airport, clearing security, and arriving at my gate to see that BOARDING HAD ALREAY BEGUN, my control-needy self did NOT throw the worlds largest adult temper-tantrum. I know as well as the next person that the plane will not leave without me. In my haste, I did NOT squirt half of my son's (hugely necessary) dose of benadryl across the room as he dodged the syringe. I have better aim, and I'm far too patient to do something like, say, pin my son to the floor in an airport.
• After arriving in Denver, I did NOT allow my toddler to toddle sans socks or shoes. I also did not get reprimanded by airport security because apparently "there are chemicles on the floor that are not safe for babies". Chemicals, Schmemciles.
• Since we've been home I have NOT had a short temper for the simple reason that my toddler's reality (which, as you may have guessed, has been rapidly changing between Seattle and Lincoln, traveling, and time changes, and the complete inability to take a good nap) makes him grumpy. I have been patient and loving towards him. I have given him ALL my time and affection, knowing that anything I have to do can wait. I'm a good mother after all.
• I did NOT break a cardinal rule of naping yesterday after church, by allowing my very sleepy child to take a "cat nap" at 10:45am until 11:15 am hoping upon hope that he would still nap in the afternoon. True to form, he did not, but in response to that, I did NOT allow him to talk, and play, and cry, and SCREAM for the better part of two hours. Of course, I did NOT do this. And the reason I did NOT do this would certainly have nothing to do with the fact that we were going to a housewarming party for a couple of friends and I wanted to tote along a cheerful child. That's truly selfish.
• Once we returned home, and I saw all the BEAUTIFUL finidh work my husband had done on our basement, I did NOT go right ahead and start making a mental list of NEW things I wanted him to accomplish. No, like a good wife, I allowed him to bask in the feeling of accomplishment he was deserving of. I was grateful to him, and I let him have "everything checked off his list" for once.
• And finally, when my little one woke up SCREAMING last night (three times between 11:45 & 1:00), and after two totally unsuccessful visits to his room, I did NOT take the child who thinks an adult bed is a play toy, into the guest room to sleep with me. I know full well what this leads to, and it ISN'T sleep. One hour later I was not STILL trying to calm down a now playful toddler. Arg.

I bet you aren't embarrassed about anything you did over the last week, but if you were, what might it be?