If cubicle walls could talk

Unlike Jonathan who has a spacious hoytie toytie office (I may have exaggerated just a touch... he might share a very small cubbyhole with a door) I live - no - work in a cubicle. Have you ever worked in a cubicle? If so, you know the daily monotony it brings... the complete lack of scenery (nope, no window in our office, seriously) and, consequently, privacy as well. But for those of you who may have never considered it before, what does your cubicle say about you?

My cubicle definately says I'm a scatterbrained, ADD, pack rat who eats lunch at her desk (parish the thought) and has a slight obsession with highlighters. My cubicle has one small piece of artwork (thank you Jonathan, and your box of crayolas) and one wedding picture, but beyond that, it's strictly business. Hey, why would I take time decorating a place I strongly desire to leave at the end of the day anyway? Well, all that aside, I began to wonder... what does my cubicle have to say to others about my faith?

I recently came across what might be the world's funniest blog. Penned by "prodigal John", and aptly titled "Stuff Christians Like", This blog points a finger of hillarity at the christianisms and christianese of christianity. You should really check it out here. So, as I was making my way across this blog today, I stumbled upon "The Christian Cubicle Point System". So, without further adeau, (and with credit duely given) here it is.

1. You removed one of your three cubicle walls and replaced it with a Thomas Kinkade painting. = +5 points

2. You have a souvenir from your mission trip in your cubicle. = +2 points

3. It was a “fun mission trip” e.g., you were witnessing to people on the beach in Hawaii or skiers at Aspen. = 0 points

4. Your mouse is shaped like a Jesus fish. = +1 point

5. You have a local Christian radio station playing at all times. = +1 point

6. You have a loop of sermon podcasts playing at all times. = +2 points

7. You have that Carman song with the devil cameo playing at all times. = +3 points

8. You have Joshua 24:15 hung up and crossed out “As for me and my house” and instead wrote, “As for me and my cubicle.” = +1 point

9. It’s cross stitched = +2 points

10. You got rid of your office chair and instead sit in a tiny section of pew you got from a church they were tearing down. = +3 points

11. You removed the number 6 from your keyboard to prevent ever accidentally slipping and typing 666. = + 1 point

12. You have a Bible in your cubicle in plain sight. = +1 point

13. It’s the King James Version = +2 points

14. It’s displayed open on a stand carved from a piece of driftwood you found on the beach during a retreat = +3 points

15. You have a choir "cubicle robe" that you change into when you get back to your desk similar to how Mr. Rogers used to put on a different sweater when he got home. = +4 points

16. One of your drawers is filled with holy water just in case someone wants to get baptized by dunking their head in the drawer above the file folders. = + 5 points

17. You have a sticker that reads. “In case of rapture, this cubicle will be unmanned.” = +1 point

18. During the Christmas cubicle decoration contest you always set up a nativity scene in your cubicle. = +1 point

19. It’s a “live scene” so during the three weeks before Christmas you dress like one of the wise men. = +2 points

20. It includes live animals. = +3 points

21. You nicknamed your cubicle something cool like most youth group rooms, e.g. “da’ zone,” or “xTreme.” = + 2 points

22. In the corner of your whiteboard you have the numbers 4:13 written to subtly remind yourself of Philippians 4:13. = +1 point

23. You wrote out the whole verse on your whiteboard = +2 points

24. Whenever someone comes in your cubicle, you do push ups while reciting, “I can do all things through him who strengthens me.” = +3 points

25. When people come to gossip, you join in, but always say, “Bless her heart” or “I mean that in Christian love” after you do. = +1 point

26. Coworkers know to come to your cubicle for advice, encouragement and communion wafers because you’ve got a whole bag of em’ in the bottom drawer. =+1 point

27. You have a little computer monitor mirror that helps you see behind you and on it in whiteout you wrote, “I see you and so does Jesus.” = +1 point

28. You have that poster of the cat hanging from a rope with the caption, “Hang in there” to encourage the people around you. = +2 points

29. You crossed out “hang in there” because you thought it was too wishy washy and that cat was kind of a heathen. Instead you scribbled “hang onto Jesus." = +4 points

30. You have a decomposing palm branch from Palm Sunday in your cubicle. = +2 points for each branch.

31. You’ll only hang up your kid’s artwork in your cubicle if it’s something they colored at Sunday school. Clifford and Sesame Street aren’t making the cut. = +1 point

32. You’re not above taking a love offering if more than two people are gathered in your cubicle at the same time. = +1 point

33. You take great offense at the parade of Christian stereotypes presented in this list and printed out the post as a reminder to pray for me = +2 points

How did you score? My current cubicle ranked a sweaty Philistinish 3 points. I’m ashamed of it, and me, but mostly it. If you scored over a 40, you’re working in what John calls a “Tempicle.” (Yeah, that’s right, he just mixed the word temple and cubicle.) Under 10 and you’re begging for an ergonomic lightning bolt from heaven.

So what did you score? Are you in the equivalent of a work Vatican? How holy is your cubicle?

- Melissa

and I was the critical one...sheesh

So I have an apology to make.
To anyone with a blog, to anyone with a facebook status.
I have wrongly shamed you many times in my head for under-updating.
Many times have I disgraced your web-space for being devoid of anything new... in the past 24 hours.

I now find myself hardly enjoying the taste of a steaming plate of foot because my blog (which, I swear, feels like I updated only yesterday) has now been lonely, yearning for my attention, for two weeks. Yes, two weeks.
To all those whom I silently diminished for neglecting to keep me posted on every waking moment of their lives, I now understand how very very much I misunderstood this whole complicated blogging process.

You see, I really meant to post over a week ago. Really! but then I thought, it has to have pictures to be a good post right? and of course, there's nothing new on my camera (except a picture of my profile, which really hasn't changed significantly to anyone except me) My next excuse had something to do with not wanting to talk solely about our pregnancy... until I realized that just might be the most interesting thing going on in our lives right now. So alas, I'm left excuse-less. So sorry, so very sorry.

Jonathan and I have actually been doing some fun things this week. This is the first time in months (seriously) that I've seen 9:00pm, so we've taken advantage of it by roasting marshmallows under the oven broiler with fondue skewers, watching survivor (and if you didn't see last night's episode you MISSED OUT!) and visiting the Mill for tea and a chat.

Mom came last weekend and treated me to my first two pair of maternity pants. Wow, am I happy to give up buttons! No, I don't 'need' maternity clothes yet, but they sure are comfortable. We also got one of These which covers up my unbuttoned pants when I wear my normal sizes. What fun we had while she was here. I wish I had a good picture (and I'll get one later) but we also put up curtains in our living room; crimson curtains that look just lovely. I'm no good with decorating but Mom certainly has the touch!

I'll leave you with my dilemma for the next 6 months: Jonathan and I want to cloth diaper our baby (are we CRAZY or what?) but, in case you didn't know, there are about 10,000 different cloth diaper choices out there. Gone are the days of white folded diapers with pins, now they've got these things that look just like disposables with great velcro tabs. We've looked at BumGenius, Kushies, Fuzzi buns, gDiapers, and SO many more. So, if you or anyone you know has any cloth diapering suggestions, we're all ears.

Have a great weekend. I'll get better at this, I promise!
- Melissa

Where do I even begin?

You know, having never had a blog before, I never really knew how difficult it might be to come up with things to write, let alone write them frequently enough. I'm sure many readers are curious about our little growing gummy bear, but I'm quite sure I want our blog to be more than just that.

As I reflect on our lives here in Lincoln they do seem a little drab , and I hesitate to bore everyone with a daily dose of "today I ate breakfast, then I scraped a squashed grape off the kitchen floor. After that I went to work, sat in front of a computer for 8 hours, came home and promptly fell asleep on the couch" Although, the squashed grape would be a highlight no one would want to miss.

But I digress... surely there are things we are doing here, experiencing here, that would be of interest to all those dear friends far away who were just sure we were moving to the middle of nowhere (that IS how Washingtonians refer to the Midwest after all, isn't it?) Yes, yes we have had some fun times discovering our new home, but where do I start? The beginning you say? Sounds like as good a place as any.

Without further adieu, lessons learned by the Hnoskos in Lincoln, Nebraska

1. It is possible to drive across the country in the wintertime, although we don't suggest it (and I doubt Rachel and Gary do either). Thank the Lord for our Subaru. Without it I don't know if we would have made it across (what was it Jonathan?) 5+ mountain passes.

2. Contrary to popular belief, most things are more expensive in the Midwest, especially milk and fresh produce. Corn and beef, however, are very affordable. We miss Winco, but we quite enjoy our local Super-Saver.

3. Real estate, on the other hand, is a lot easier to come by over here. We adore our new home for which we may have paid a quarter of it's projected cost were it to be located in Western Washington. We quite possibly received a better deal than even that. And on the topic of saving money, yes, you too can mow your lawn burning calories instead of gasoline.

3. If you and your spouse, after prayerful consideration, decide it is indeed time to start your family, you should know that Midwestern drinking water is tainted. It contains high levels of estrogen, testosterone, and progesterone, the three of which make it incredibly easy to become pregnant. I caution you, if you once said to your spouse "we have plenty of time, no one gets it right on the first try", you may end up with your foot in your mouth and a baby in your uterus.
* stylistic note: causation has not scientifically been attributed to the drinking water.


Well, that should do it for now. Three great lessons learned by two new Nebraskans. I could go on about how Nebraskans (mid-westerners in general) tend to be more conservative than their coastal counterparts, or about how one should not trust nor eat fish which could not possibly have been swimming yesterday, but those are lessons for another time. Until then why don't you tell me what lessons you've learned in the places you've been!