tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-73428884720942702482024-03-14T08:29:37.814-07:00Joy, with a side of Chaos.Ditching my preconceived notions of life as a SAHM, and trading a life of guilt and fear for a life filled with grace and abundant joy. Joy, intermixed with complete chaos at times, but still joy.Melissa K.http://www.blogger.com/profile/09075606544086273338noreply@blogger.comBlogger210125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7342888472094270248.post-54363292498887705912016-12-17T18:40:00.000-08:002016-12-17T18:56:29.938-08:00Cora's update<div dir="ltr">
Hello many loving people who have been thinking about us and wondering (asking even) if I am going to type out an update. Assumably, you are referring to an update on our situation here in Michigan. Yes, I will get to that, but not tonight. That is a long story, that's far from over, and I'm not sure I'm ready to put it into words yet.<br />
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No, tonight I am here to get out my summary of Cora's latest procedure before all the details fly out from between my ears, never to be found again. So, without further adieu, a very short summary of where we've been in the past four years:<br />
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At 6 months Cora's eyes were still crossing, as many newborns do. But 6 months is too late for that to still be happening. She had an anesthetized exam at 7 months. It was discovered that she had malformation of both eyes, resulting in the turning in (crossing/esotropia) in her right eye. Also, she had "scaring", also called "atrophy" at the retina in both eyes, which appeared at the time not to be progressive in nature. At 11 months she had eye muscle surgery to straighten her right eye. We've patched her left (stronger) eye 2hrs daily since 6 months to encourage it to work extra hard to maintain a good/decent visual pathway with the brain, and discourage amblyopia (poor eye-brain communication which results in visual distortion). And since then we've seen her pediatric ophthalmologist every 4 months. Whew!<br />
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Then... we moved to Michigan.<br />
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Little did we know, Michigan is home to one of the foremost eye research centers in the country; the Kellogg Eye Center. We were recommended to Dr. Gappy (PO) who saw her last September. After looking at her eyes and agreeing with most of what her NE docs said, he referred us to a Retinologist who specializes in pediatrics, Dr. Besirli. We saw him in late October. He took pictures of Cora's eyes using two special cameras and came to us with the following additional diagnoses:<br />
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Coloboma of the eye - bilateral</div>
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Peripapillary atrophy of both eyes<br />
Exotropia (because the eye that once turned in is now slightly turning out. Normal)<br />
Anisometropia<br />
Choroidal neovascular membrane - bilateral<br />
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It's that last one we hadn't previously heard of. What that basically means is that Dr. Besirli thought it was possible that the atrophy at Cora's retinas was not indeed scarred off, but that it was still active. In the event that his suspicion was correct, he said he could inject a drug called "Avastin" (actually, a cancer drug) into the region which would cause the leaking vascular membrane to scar off.<br />
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He asked to do another anesthetized exam, which we agreed to. Although originally set for November 9th, we were bumped twice and she finally had the procedure done last Wednesday, December 14th. So, back to Ann Arbor we went early that morning with our easy-going Cora in tow. She was hardly bothered by all the action. Couldn't have cared less about all the doctors in funny masks, the IV's, and all the medical equipment. She was tickled to be wheeled back into surgery in a big bed all to herself.</div>
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When we were finally called back for consult we learned that the membrane in Cora's left eye (her strong eye) was indeed still leaking. Injecting the Avastin would theoretically stop that leak, and potentially restore some of Cora's vision, if any had been lost for that reason (side note: we don't know if this leaking has been taking place since birth, or since three months ago. There isn't any way to know ). We agreed, and he was finished with the procedure 15 minutes later. An hour in post op, and then another half hour in "the go home room", and we were on our way back to DeWitt.</div>
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May I just take a moment to say what incredibly magical places childrens hospitals are? My only other experience in one was when Ezra broke his femur, but were were just visiting for a second opinion, we weren't there for treatment or surgery. They had Cora wrapped around their finger at Mott Childrens Hospital. They dressed her little lamb in scrubs, cap and mask included. They let her "paint" the inside of her Anesthesia mask with her favorite flavored chapstick, They had all the TV and toys a kid could want, AND the first thing they gave her after surgery was a popsicle! Aside from the needle still being in her arm when she came-to, she was happy as a clam!<br />
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So, post injection, we have an followup appointment with Dr. Besirli in a month. He'll dilate her eyes and take pictures again to see if anything has changed/improved. About half of patients in her<br />
situation will end up needing a second injection, so only time will tell.</div>
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How does this relate to her vision?<br />
Good question. No idea. Her vision is another issue entirely. I'd love to say that its unrelated, but in truth we don't know. She doesn't even know. Because she has nothing to compare against except her previous vision, she is her own baseline. I mean, sure, we can run her through standard vision tests, but those only tell how far away you can see things. That is only a very small fraction of her situation. So, we watch her, wait, and do lots of learning in the meantime. We never cease to be amazed by what she CAN see, and the things she can't see don't surprise us all that much. She's also developing a keen knack for "selective vision" which is uniquely similar to "selective hearing" if you catch my drift.</div>
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So there you go. I haven't blogged in 2.5 years and all you're going to get today is an update on my dear sweet NEARLY 5 year old daughter. Alas, more later</div>
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Melissa K.http://www.blogger.com/profile/09075606544086273338noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7342888472094270248.post-39515211080474805962014-06-13T19:27:00.002-07:002014-06-13T19:27:39.461-07:00Ezra's birth story<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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Meet Ezra James Hnosko - the third in our brood. Adored by his siblings (maybe a little too much by Cora, who would eat him for dessert if she could) and parents alike, Ezra is a typical third baby. Calm, sweet, sleepy, and overall a joy to have around. I'm taking the time now to write his birth story because I'm just certain it will slip out of my mind forever in a matter of sleep-deprived weeks. So, here goes...<div>
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Ezra's pregnancy was definitely my most difficult. I'd say I wasn't quite a sick as I was with cora, but everything was magnified by the fact that I had two (not just one) other children to care for day in and day out. Prescription compression stockings, which I loathe, had to make their return at 14 weeks this time, instead of the 20 weeks I started wearing them with Cora. And I think, just overall, my body was way more exhausted. </div>
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It was at 32 weeks, without warning that I started regularly contracting for the first time. Braxton Hicks, I thought, no problem. I've felt them so very many times before... but these were indeed different. at 3-5 minutes apart, my midwife sent me in to be monitored. Indeed, they were a combination of braxton hicks and labor contractions. None strong enough to cause change to my cervix, but definitely too strong to get a good night's rest through. So home I went with a drug called Visteral - basically a muscle relaxant - to keep my "irritated uterus" from being so... irritated, I guess. Visteral is not fun. It makes you sleeeeeepy, as though I wasn't sleepy enough. But I took it faithfully until I reached 37 weeks.</div>
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For whatever reason those contractions didn't return once I stopped taking the drugs. My midwife wonders if the reason my uterus became irritated was baby's positioning, or maybe baby's growth spurting. Anyway, I was a little irritated that the end was not necessarily as in-sight as I thought it could be. Nonetheless, I was happy my baby would have a little more time to bake. The longer he's in there, I thought, the more mature he'll be, and the better he'll be able to adapt to life outside the womb.</div>
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So time crawled. No, seriously. It crawled</div>
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And then came Thursday, May 22nd. I was contracting regularly again, and this time there was a strong bite to the contractions. Knowing I would likely have a reasonably quick Delivery (cora's was only 5 hours after all) and also knowing I needed IV antibiotics for a positive group B strep culture, I didn't want to linger at home. So, in we went. And would you believe that the moment my feet set foot on the hospital's premises, those contractions quit? I was incensed. After all, We'd woken up poor Rachael from a perfectly good night's sleep to come watch our sleeping children. Surely, I was offended by my body's inability to make up its mind. And so I made up mine not to have any more false alarms. No sirree. not me.</div>
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Sunday morning I sent the kids and Jonathan to church without me. I wasn't going to be seen pregnant by everyone again. I felt HUGE, and awfull. And I didn't want any reminders of how very pregnant I was. Add to that the fact that my actual due date wasn't for another 6 days, and, well. I wanted to spend the next week hiding. So, I stayed home and cleaned. There's always cleaning to do. </div>
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The kids and Jonathan returned from church, we ate lunch, and then put the kids down for nap. I layed down too, as I usually do. And then I woke up. At three. In labor.</div>
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Suuure. I thought. another false alarm. I'm not buying it. So I continued on downstairs where Jonathan was and hung out with he and Levi who were watching something on TV. He watched me through a few (now relatively strong) contractions and muttered "don't you think we should be making some phone calls?" No, I assured him, this isn't it. I'm not jumping the gun. Instead I called my friend and doula Joyce, and asked her to come over and help me determine if and when to head in - because I felt incompetent to do so.</div>
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About 30 minutes later, around 4, Joyce walked in. She untied one of her shoes, at which point I started another (quite strong) contraction. She looked at Jonathan, who rolled his eyes. She looked at me and asked "are they all like this?" through breaths I managed to mutter a yes. Joyce retied her shoe.</div>
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I called rachael and informed her that Joyce (not me, mind you) said she should come over now and get the kids.I called my midwife who said she would be on her way shortly. I ran around the house throwing stuff into bags for ourselves and our children. I contracted in every which room of the house.I was still convinced it was really no big deal. We left for the hospital.</div>
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At 5:15pm we were admitted. Soon they had my IV in and I went on a lap of the L&D floor, trying desperately to find a comfortable way to manage my contractions. Nothing felt right. After one lap of the floor I got back into the room and tried a few more positions. I was hanging (essentially) from Jonathan's neck when my water broke. And by broke, really I mean exploded. everything about that word is true. it was like something out of a movie. Mind you, to this point I was still in my clothes from home. No one had so much as done a cervical check on me. So now everything was absolutely soaked. Shoes and all. Drat.</div>
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I'm told that just before that happened my labor sounds changed - an indication that I was entering transition. I don't recall specifically, but I'm sure they're right. I do vaguely remember the nurse calling the front desk and informing them that she was with a woman who was about to deliver and there was no midwife in the room yet. her premonition was correct, as just after my water broke the freight train which is the urge to push came barreling toward me.</div>
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Now, if you've ever experienced a natural delivery, you know exactly what I'm talking about. It's totally unavoidable. It's almost involuntary. You can't not push. so when I felt that urge I knew there was no turning back. Despite this reality I still managed to belt out a hearty "I don't want to do this!". It was at that moment that another midwife from my practice walked in the room. I was still standing up, and in an effort to spare my pelvic floor and parinium, she encouraged me to get up on the bed on my hands and knees. I don't think I had much of a part in getting myself up there, as I was crowning at that point, but with many helping hands, I made it. </div>
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Moments later (seconds?) Ezra made his lively appearance at 6:36pm. He came out crying, unlike his sister, which was encouraging. he was awake and alert, and nursed immediately. The whole thing was painful, and beautiful.</div>
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I just sat there and nursed him while the third stage of labor finished - and the stitching, which I'll spare you from (although it was only a first degree, my smallest yet!). Then, at my request, the let me take a bath with him in the big Jacuzzi tub. What a treat. Lord knows we both needed a bath by then! </div>
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We spent that first night together in the hospital and were discharged the following evening, just as my mom arrived at our home. Couldn't have been better timing. Ezra's labor and delivery were fast and furious, but probably my most peaceful.</div>
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And now, two and a half weeks (almost three!) later, I am a mother of three earth-side children. I'm exhausted, which is to be expected. my mom and step dad have gone home, and Jonathan has returned to work. My body feels (and looks?) like a squishy lump of clay, but I have to remember to give it credit for the 10 months it just endured. For the third time. Most of all I am blessed by the Father to be on the other side of labor and delivery with a healthy son.<br /><br /></div>
Melissa K.http://www.blogger.com/profile/09075606544086273338noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7342888472094270248.post-23091400383010771342013-01-29T12:04:00.001-08:002013-01-29T12:04:35.978-08:00Cora's post-post-opWell, this week puts us at just over 6 weeks post surgery for Cora. So much has happened in those six weeks - related to her eyes, but also otherwise developmentally. Feels like it's been 6 months!<br />
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So, first off, her eyes. Here are three pictures, you may have already seen them all, but they're nice for comparison:<br />
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The first is immediately pre-surgery, the second is immediately post surgery, and the third is from the other day. I think the most striking difference is between the first and the second photo, but what amazes me most is the difference between the second and the third. Why? because it was HER BRAIN that moved her eye from being over-corrected (which was intentional) to being more-or-less directly in alignment.<br />
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We went in for our post-post op appointment with our pediatric ophthalmologist yesterday. He uses his fancy lenses and shiny toys to check the strength of her eyes (not her vision - we already know she is neither far sighted nor near sighted, and until she can speak there's nothing else we can learn about the quality of what she sees). What he determined is twofold: first, while patching therapy has not appeared to deliver a vast improvement in eye strength as it so often does in little ones with Amblyopia, it may have improved it a little. Second, having her eyes <i>similarly </i>aligned means she's using them more "in stereo" (together) than she used to. Now, I'll follow that up by saying that it is <i>rare </i>that she actually uses her eyes together. You'd probably have to be one of her parents to recognize this, but she usually only uses one eye or the other to focus (camera one, camera two style) and it's usually her strong eye she chooses. Actually, it's almost always her strong eye.<br />
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The doc said that as he was examining her he observed the weak eye still has a lot of "play" in it. meaning it will sometimes be a little over corrected, and occasionally a little crossed. I occasionally observe the same thing, but again, you'd probably have to be one of her parents to notice. Ideally, as her brain-eye connection continues to improve, her brain will eliminate most of that play. We just have to wait to see what it will do (whether it will settle into a straight alignment, or some version of off-center alignment).<br />
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So, we patch. and patch, and patch. Familiar story, eh? Meanwhile Cora has learned to walk, has turned one, has begun babbling like a little parakeet, and generally remains her happy little self. She's decided cow's milk aint half bad (as long as it contains chocolate thankyouverymuch) and eats twice the dinner her brother does; although if you know her brother you know that's not hard to do. She's been through roseola, and a stomach virus, and STILL managed to gain two-plus pounds. She's also begun sleeping straight through the night (HALELUJIA!) with only a little prodding. Happy. Healthy. Couldn't ask for anything more.<br />
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We'll return in 3 months, and then again in an additional 3 months for further exams. At this point, unless/until we start to see identifiable differences in the ways her eyes track, we'll probably go back for visits every 3 or 6 months until she's around 3 years old. Whoopie! No, actually, that would be an awesome scenario. My hope is that her eyes will continue to be as straight (if not straighter) than they are today, and that her vision will continue/begin to improve, if it is at all lacking.<br />
<br />
Sigh. I guess there are a few unknowns.<br />
<br />
So now you're all caught up!Melissa K.http://www.blogger.com/profile/09075606544086273338noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7342888472094270248.post-15786752547787579362012-12-20T14:05:00.001-08:002012-12-20T14:05:21.586-08:00Cora's Post-opCatchy title, eh?<br />
But I digress...<br />
<br />
Cora's post op appointment with the good Dr. S. was on Monday. The same day she spiked a fever for no apparent reason. yay. Said fever was completely unrelated to her eye though (according to the doctor who gave her a thorough exam), which made me feel better.<br />
<br />
After looking my daughter's eyes over, Dr. S remains happy with the surgery. Although the fixed eye looks over corrected, that is intentional, he said. The muscles will "stretch" a bit (for lack of a better term, because they don't really stretch as much as they just settle out) and idealy that will leave her eye looking straight.<br />
<br />
So my following questions for him were in regards to Cora's long term prognosis. Will the surgical change last? Will patching magically begin to have an effect on the strength of her eye? Will she begin to focus with her weak eye? Here is how he explained things:<br />
<br />
Cora's situation is a bit of a "chicken or the egg" enigma. You see, if her strabismus (eye crossing) caused her amblyopia (brain eye connection issue), then the surgery may have solved the issue. However, if the amblyopia caused the strabismus, then we've only temporarily straightened a weak eye, which will fight to return to its crossed position. Weak eyes tend to wander and/or cross.<br />
<br />
This is why we've been patching - to encourage that week eye to strengthen so that it would have less of a proclivity toward crossing and/or wandering. But unfortunately the 5 (nearly 6) months of patching we've done so far haven't had any effect on eye strength. Darn. That is surely disappointing.<br />
<br />
So then, what about glasses? Because Cora is neither near sighted nor far sighted, glasses wouldn't do her any good. Any visual difficulty she has (we know she has some, but we won't know the extent of it until she can verbalize it through a visual exam) is caused by either the amblyopia, or the retina atrophy - neither of which can be either surgically repaired, or aided with lenses. Double darn.<br />
<br />
So here we sit with our lone method of visual therapy: patching. This is what we'll continue to do for a looooooooong time, hoping upon hope that her eyes get stronger through this therapy, and that having them straight now will give them an edge on fixing themselves.<br />
<br />
So that was long and technical, I understand. We'll go back in 6 weeks to take measurements again. By this point her eyes will have completely healed from surgery. After that we'll be on a 4-6 month routine of check-ups with our PO. And patch we shall.Melissa K.http://www.blogger.com/profile/09075606544086273338noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7342888472094270248.post-86247272572373691032012-12-13T11:53:00.001-08:002012-12-13T11:53:52.596-08:00Just Before, and just after<div class='separator' style='clear: both; text-align: center;'> <a href='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj-hRHEEk54PzSqYK5_FdNzcoIsd2SHiC_PObE9Qnq2qvrveYYnLQwF1V_XUX0X4UvutCRqrW2XwvvT-8A5mI51QUsGt71BG8dX2-xAenETqDM-67DSf2rEUjBW7zXydjvxBeJN26sSqFU/s1600/2012-12-13_13-29-26_847.jpg' imageanchor='1' style='margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;'> <img border='0' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj-hRHEEk54PzSqYK5_FdNzcoIsd2SHiC_PObE9Qnq2qvrveYYnLQwF1V_XUX0X4UvutCRqrW2XwvvT-8A5mI51QUsGt71BG8dX2-xAenETqDM-67DSf2rEUjBW7zXydjvxBeJN26sSqFU/s640/2012-12-13_13-29-26_847.jpg' /> </a> </div><div class='separator' style='clear: both; text-align: center;'> <a href='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhnUXsEdSohwNXiS-9IcKAsYK87HL4SkGFYXFLU-f5lBaw8u8Q1SlA0Lj5XswLstMPn0qrENLJrWPbKa3W8SY3wbWUZC3tOK0lFie4NQYNtcf0bZNJ2saQ-zCApJm_XCG1yuyyDoJ08m-E/s1600/2012-12-13_07-37-46_152.jpg' imageanchor='1' style='margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;'> <img border='0' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhnUXsEdSohwNXiS-9IcKAsYK87HL4SkGFYXFLU-f5lBaw8u8Q1SlA0Lj5XswLstMPn0qrENLJrWPbKa3W8SY3wbWUZC3tOK0lFie4NQYNtcf0bZNJ2saQ-zCApJm_XCG1yuyyDoJ08m-E/s640/2012-12-13_07-37-46_152.jpg' /> </a> </div>Melissa K.http://www.blogger.com/profile/09075606544086273338noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7342888472094270248.post-65143548051906452132012-12-13T09:56:00.001-08:002012-12-13T09:56:31.498-08:00Back home <p>Well, we're all done for now! <br>
Surgery took just over an hour. The good doctor was happy with the initial results of his work. You can't tell in the picture because of all the swelling, but the eye is actually over corrected, and intentionally so. Over the next two weeks we'll be watching to see how her brain responds to the surgical alignment of her right eye, and we're prayerful it will end up delightfully straight. </p>
<p>Coming out of anesthesia was WAY easier this time than it was after her sedated exam in July. This time she woke up very slowly, already in my arms and nursing. She is very groggy, drugged, and sleepy. She will wake, but only temporarily before sucking herself back to sleep. </p>
<p>I cannot thank you enough for your prayers on our behalf. We're so grateful for friends and family who love our children, and intercede for them along with us. </p>
<p>We go back for post op on Monday morning, I'll try to update on Cora's recovery before then </p>
<div class='separator' style='clear: both; text-align: center;'> <a href='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgm3qfLjH3PGlozk6nkIEdYLn-yjluzoRsjCN_aR0W6zgAS0QKqP6sfvmUa7ighJs14-MzSk4hTlgFP3tw8Sx2QOCSP84hyphenhyphenI4-hyId0c03HqF_BwCA_Q0QfTlD1Uxzz8QUHAZFWK-pY7P8/s1600/2012-12-13_10-48-32_562.jpg' imageanchor='1' style='margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;'> <img border='0' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgm3qfLjH3PGlozk6nkIEdYLn-yjluzoRsjCN_aR0W6zgAS0QKqP6sfvmUa7ighJs14-MzSk4hTlgFP3tw8Sx2QOCSP84hyphenhyphenI4-hyId0c03HqF_BwCA_Q0QfTlD1Uxzz8QUHAZFWK-pY7P8/s640/2012-12-13_10-48-32_562.jpg' /> </a> </div>Melissa K.http://www.blogger.com/profile/09075606544086273338noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7342888472094270248.post-2826913349866617372012-12-13T05:02:00.001-08:002012-12-13T05:02:04.443-08:00T minus <p>We're all checked in, awaiting straight eyes. Lord, go before us. </p>
<div class='separator' style='clear: both; text-align: center;'> <a href='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiU0wdZl-20L3QfBua2EmscwuayTQgFkwnvyWdw3tcyQVHtHGrvawxtI-Laq74PNpYO1Jb8KtEFoYSfsej2T2NiPeL7PBxEqmSh_M2zTQZLYzoctjcCID_bXhBihXPoDkjbNK5ePVCTZWk/s1600/1355403383160.jpg' imageanchor='1' style='margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;'> <img border='0' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiU0wdZl-20L3QfBua2EmscwuayTQgFkwnvyWdw3tcyQVHtHGrvawxtI-Laq74PNpYO1Jb8KtEFoYSfsej2T2NiPeL7PBxEqmSh_M2zTQZLYzoctjcCID_bXhBihXPoDkjbNK5ePVCTZWk/s640/1355403383160.jpg' /> </a> </div>Melissa K.http://www.blogger.com/profile/09075606544086273338noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7342888472094270248.post-84180328765512124042012-11-20T12:59:00.002-08:002012-11-20T12:59:37.508-08:00Surgery for Cora"A child's vision doesn't finish developing until around age nine." is what our pediatric opthalmologist (I'm getting better and better at correctly spelling that word on the first try by the way) told me this morning. I'll explain how that so seriously impacts our situation momentarily, but first...<br />
<br />
Cora should be having surgery to correct her <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Strabismus">strabismus </a>(struh-BIZ-mus) within the month of December. The term "strabismus" is how we describe that her eyes are not properly aligned. For her, that means that her right eye turns in toward her nose. Surgery is rather simple, really. That's probably why this post is so long and yet, this is the very first thing I'm explaining. Dr. S will (stop here if you're squeamish) reach in, between her eyelid and eye, and tug on the muscles that hold the eye in place. He will cut and suture on one side, effectively shortening the muscle, and tug on the other, effectively lengthening, or stretching it. He will also adjust one of the muscles that holds her eye in place vertically because that right eye also tends to sit a little lower than the left. Surgery will take about an hour.<br />
<br />
So, as I mentioned, surgery is the easy part. The difficult part is determining whether or not it will be effective long-term.<br />
<br />
I'm going to have to go back and read my last post about this while situation, because as I learn more, I become more and more certain that I explained things at least somewhat incorrectly four months ago, so if you'll bear with me, I'm going to give it another go. This is as much for me (if not more) as it is for all of you, because I process and digest information as I write it. Here we go.<br />
<br />
We've been patching at two hours daily for four months now. One month ago we saw Dr. S and he looked at Cora's eyes. Specifically, he was looking to see if her weak eye was any stronger. He did that by analyzing her "focus" with that eye. What he found was that the strength of the eye was largely the same. It hadn't gotten any stronger, but also, it hadn't weakened. He asked us to patch for one more month before we consider surgery.<br />
<br />
Why? why patch for one more month when the first three didn't seem to do any good? Assurance. Because, if after one additional month that eye decided to get a little stronger, we'd probably patch even LONGER before surgery and allow it to strengthen even more. You want the weak eye to be as strong as it can possibly be to have the best chance of accepting the changes the surgery will impose on the eye, and the eye-brain connection.<br />
<br />
So, today we saw him again. As I had suspected, Cora's weak eye is still the same. Now I'm not necessarily discouraged by this. It's neither good, nor bad. The positive side of this is that she can have the surgery that will make her look symetrical. The negative side is that, because her eye is still relatively weak (we know this because, given the option, she will NEVER choose to focus with her weak eye. Only with her strong eye) there is a greater chance her eye will reject the surgical change, and fall back into misalignment. This is where we have a new term to learn: <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Amblyopia">Amblyopia </a>(am-blee-OPE-ee-a). This is a term we use to describe a malfunction in the way the eye and brain communicate<br />
<br />
By patching we've been attempting to correct the amblyopia, and force the brain to use the weak eye. When she has her patch on, that works. She uses the weak eye, focuses with the weak eye, and can do almost everything she can do when she's patch-free. she can crawl, focus on faces, stand, eat, you name it. She CAN see out of that eye; although, to what degree, we won't know until she can verbalize it to us. The persistance of the amblyopia may, or may not be caused in part by the retina atrophy she was initially diagnosed with. Retina atrophy, while more of a description than a diagnosis, just means that her retinas don't look like they should. But, they look identical in both eyes, so it could just be a congenital anomaly, and not the cause of any of her eye problems.<br />
<br />
Is anyone still listening, or have I lost you all? Great.<br />
<br />
So, the BIG question Dr. S answered today was: is it prudent to do surgery now, or more prudent to wait? He feels confident doing the surgery now, but also gave us the option to patch longer if we wanted to, in the off chance that her eye decides it's finished being stubborn. The benefit to doing the surgery now is that she's younger, and her brain is more capable of accepting and adapting to change. However (and this is a BIG however) Dr. S feels that Cora's case carry's a much higher surgical failure rate because of two factors: the unknown role retina atrophy is playing, and the curious fact that patching hasn't changed the strength of her weak eye. Although these two factors make it more likely that her eye will wander back out of alignment, waiting won't likely change anything, as proven by the previous four months of patching.<br />
<br />
So, in two to four weeks her right eye will be straightened. Then we quit patching. <b>HA!</b> kidding. Then we begin patching LIKE MANIACS so that what has been done surgically isn't un-done by lingering amblyopia (aka a stubborn brain-eye connection that liked it's misalignment thank-you-very-much). Dr. S. said this is the only downside he sees to performing surgery now: once the eyes are aligned, it makes it harder for parents to patch. It makes it "look" less necessary, when in fact it is MORE necessary.<br />
<br />
It was around this point in the conversation that I asked what I look at now as a rather stupid question. Ok, it wasn't stupid, but, given the answer, it was near sighted (badum bum, vision joke). How long do we patch after that? like six months or so? (that was me being what I thought was realistic. considering we've already patched for four months, I thought saying six months would be over-and-above his suggestion. oh how wrong I was). "Well," he said "A child's vision doesn't finish developing until around age nine, so you'll probably be doing some measure of patching until then." Insert wide eyed half-choke. NINE? Did he just say NINE? Um, yeah. Yeah he did.<br />
<br />
ooooookay, so, now my picture of this whole adventure has become about twenty times wider, and the light at the end of the tunnel about 1,800 miles further away.Yes, I'm glad she's having surgery. Yes, I wish her eye had shown some sign of ability to strengthen, yes I'm concerned that the brain-eye connection, which may or may not be related to, or impacted by, the retina atrophy (or the coloboma, for that matter, although he didn't mention it) will render the surgery unsuccessful. But no, this isn't keeping me up nights. I'm at relative peace about it, surprisingly. Maybe it's because it's so very much out of my control. Or maybe the fact that she can so-obviously see - at least to some extent - gives me comfort. Either way I have no way of predicting or changing the outcome of this process. except by continuing to follow the Dr.'s orders to patch. And patch. and (apparently) patch.<br />
<br />
Which I hate. I totally hate patching. So, if you've seen me, and my daughter, and son, and I've appeared upbeat about the whole thing, you should know that while I'm not wallowing in pity and stress, and overall anxiety about it, I HATE PATCHING. I hate putting elbow immobilizers on my sweet child. There is nothing I enjoy about patching, except maybe to enjoy hating patching.<br />
<br />
But young kids pick up on that sort of thing so I try (very hard) to keep my patch-hating attitude to myself.<br />
<br />
We should have a surgery date soon, and I'll update then. Cora should have straight eyes before her first birthday, and Lord willing, for a LOOOOOOOOOOOOOOONG time after that.<br />
<br />
<br />Melissa K.http://www.blogger.com/profile/09075606544086273338noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7342888472094270248.post-14006318470479114252012-09-25T12:43:00.003-07:002012-09-25T12:43:51.468-07:00"Packets"If you are one of my many friends with kids (do I even have friends that follow this blog that don't have, or regularly interact with, kids?) then you probably know what "packets", as we call them in this house, are. Need a memory jogger? here.<br />
<br />
That is my daughter, at 8 months old, feeding herself with a packet.Also could a pouch. or a squeezie.<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi8fFGdQml9XaeeY4nTl82-SlCVlaouWiU4zCIXG1NdJpMYmPjReGjWoapd53TiM6hKm2DuinNp5W06kZGMSNnmBCVey-PPigo4gsxKYEPgcjyyDDg6PmSQXwES_1mJbbEWmr_MbR1oLbI/s1600/cora+with+packet.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi8fFGdQml9XaeeY4nTl82-SlCVlaouWiU4zCIXG1NdJpMYmPjReGjWoapd53TiM6hKm2DuinNp5W06kZGMSNnmBCVey-PPigo4gsxKYEPgcjyyDDg6PmSQXwES_1mJbbEWmr_MbR1oLbI/s320/cora+with+packet.JPG" width="180" /></a></div>
<br />
I could easily dig up for you a bunch of pictures of my son doing this same thing, but for the sake of a prime example, I'll share this one (Levi, 20 months):<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh3mckXKUnlS96wdlRAknKvnVGoNwZS5_cnRVbjiK0QqxMEQ5k2GoPbK6frS0UHW6o5vvZbNkw46VZC1Yw31ixkAyERVhv5Wmk8tACKsncndvKFAqjVJhlKNlZ0pdM48JgrBRQUU9_K-D8/s1600/IMG_1331.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh3mckXKUnlS96wdlRAknKvnVGoNwZS5_cnRVbjiK0QqxMEQ5k2GoPbK6frS0UHW6o5vvZbNkw46VZC1Yw31ixkAyERVhv5Wmk8tACKsncndvKFAqjVJhlKNlZ0pdM48JgrBRQUU9_K-D8/s320/IMG_1331.JPG" width="240" /></a></div>
<br />
But the bottom line is, while these things are AWESOME, and convenient, they're also expensive. As in, when on super-duper sale, I might be able to get them for a buck each. EACH. hmph...<br />
<br />
So, imagine my shock and awe when I found this lovely device. I saved a whole $25 of my monthly spending money (because, as you may remember, we're a cash-only family) and I purchased this brand spankin' new Infantino product:<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg6rOeTDh5zFVuRPAWa5q9iCyphePxj2Xi28I2Zu8teh90jHrUErQ_xV8X5cfqSXoYUVm8iWzYkUIzOQ3UVc65Ln5d62sPqvq9ohWcCq2xN89OmxG67JsOLjLk-aeOoHd-pY3yW-AsBfbU/s1600/squeeze+station.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg6rOeTDh5zFVuRPAWa5q9iCyphePxj2Xi28I2Zu8teh90jHrUErQ_xV8X5cfqSXoYUVm8iWzYkUIzOQ3UVc65Ln5d62sPqvq9ohWcCq2xN89OmxG67JsOLjLk-aeOoHd-pY3yW-AsBfbU/s320/squeeze+station.png" width="288" /></a></div>
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Just you wait for the pictures that will follow once I get my wits about me. Just you wait.<br />
this is GENIUS!Melissa K.http://www.blogger.com/profile/09075606544086273338noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7342888472094270248.post-44579183969957467272012-09-02T07:59:00.001-07:002012-09-02T07:59:41.372-07:00Back to school 2012!<br />
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This is the first of many more
back-to-school posts, I’m sure. If I wait much longer to chronicle what you’re
up to right now I’ll forget all the important things, So here we go!<o:p></o:p></div>
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Levi, you turned 3 just a few
short months ago, and just last week I sent you off to your first day of
preschool. You’re going three mornings a week. It’s quite a change for you, but
so far you seem to enjoy the routine aspect, and (as always) you love playing
with new friends and teachers. You aren’t shy, or clingy in the least. You have
a great sense of self-confidence.<o:p></o:p></div>
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Your favorite color is red and it’s
been your favorite for a year or so now. Your best friend (of course) is
Teague, and you’ll make up almost any excuse to go over and play with him. You
two attend preschool together. You tell me you want to be a fire fighter when
you grow up, another desire that hasn’t changed for at least a year. You also
want to be a daddy, and a superhero.<o:p></o:p></div>
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You know your alphabet, and you
can properly identify your letters. Numbers, on the other hand, are still quite
difficult for you, as is the sound made by the letter “S”, but only when it precedes a consonant.
You usually ignore the letter all together when unless it precedes a vowel. You’re
beginning to identify simple words, like your name, and your sister’s name, but
I stress “beginning”. My favorite word that you say right now is “their-chother”.
I think it’s so cool how your language acquisition has lead you to make up
words that your little 3-year-old brain assumes follow the rules of grammar. So
cute! I also love how you have begun using adult idioms and figures of speech.
It is not uncommon for you, when explaining an event at school, to use the
phrase “we were going back and fourth…”. It’s funny to hear my words come out
of your mouth. You also like the phrase, “well, actually…”<o:p></o:p></div>
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Your memory is like a steel trap.
You can correctly tell anyone who asks what your full name is. Spelling and all
(ok, you can almost correctly spell your last name) and your birthdate. You’ve
recently memorized your address, although it’s a bit sketchy. We’ve also been
memorizing simple scriptures as a family and you’re doing great! As long as we
do the hand motions, you’re great with 1 John 4:8, and the first half of John
3:16. In the coming months we’ll be memorizing A good chunk of Luke 2 as a
family. Can’t wait!<o:p></o:p></div>
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You’re still a tall drink of
water, almost 39 inches. You weigh about 36lbs. We think you’ll be tall and
lean like your daddy. You’re almost into a 4T, and a size 9 shoe. You’ve been
potty trained now for about a year, and night-trained for about two months. You
typically go to bed around 8, and wake up around 6:30. You’re a great sleeper,
and like your parents, a total morning person. Breakfast is your favorite meal,
by far. Aside from breakfast foods, your favorites include PBJ’s, cheese, yogurt,
hot dogs, mac and cheese, grapes,
apples, cantaloupe, bananas, tomatoes, applesauce, and virtually anything else
in the fruit category. <o:p></o:p></div>
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Some of your favorite activities
include coloring & painting, reading, RUNNING up and down the hallway,
making your sister laugh, running around outside, imitating any chore or task
mommy & daddy do, and pretending; giving voices to all your toys. It is not
uncommon for me to find you in your room re-enacting a scene from earlier in
our day with a few of your toys. It serves as another reminder to me that you
watch, and listen to me, even when I don’t think you’re paying any attention. Another
great reason to be mindful of what I say to you. <o:p></o:p></div>
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Levi, we love you so very much –
I love watching you grow and learn. What fun it will be to watch you over this
year and see what the Lord has in store for your little life. <o:p></o:p></div>
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Melissa K.http://www.blogger.com/profile/09075606544086273338noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7342888472094270248.post-22876151017829163792012-07-26T08:39:00.001-07:002012-07-26T08:39:05.960-07:00A Diagnosis, or three.Whew. What a morning.<br />
Praise the Lord, because whether we honestly believed it, or just gave it lip service, the outcome was, and has always been, in His capable hands.<br />
<br />
First, a summary of where we've been, where we are, and where we're going.<br />
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As you probably already read (but I can never remember exactly what I've written and what has just been in my head) We went in for this anesthetized exam for a few reasons.<br />
<br />
<ul>
<li>Cora's eyes were not tracking. They were turning in. The right one worse than the left</li>
<li>One of her eyes was not formed completely</li>
<li>She had what appeared to be scaring at the base of the retina, near the optic nerve, in both eyes</li>
</ul>
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After a peaceful evening, a smooth bedtime, and a 2:30am nursing, we woke Cora at 5:45am to be at the surgery center at 6:00. Here's about how the next 2 hours went: Check-in, signature, signature, yet another signature, conversation with a nurse, conversation with an anesthesiologist, conversation with the pediatric opthalmologist. Prayer with the surgical team. Hand sweet young thing off to anesthesiologist. Cry. sit and wait.</div>
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At just past 8am Dr. P and Dr. S came out. </div>
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Dr. P spoke first regarding the "scaring", which we shall henceforth refer to as "Atrophe". The atrophy near her retinas (surrounding the optic nerve) is bilateral (both eyes). It is also identical in both eyes. He supposes it has been present since she was in utero. In other words, she was born that way. He said atrophy is not progressive. It's essentially a developmental anomaly. Dr. P does not think this poses any issue to her at all, and does not require a follow up.</div>
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Dr. S then spoke about the malformation of her eye, which we will now refer to as a "Coloboma". Her left eye (yes, that's right, the eye that actually looks better and turns less) is not fully formed. This is a reasonably common problem. Ok, not common perse, but he sees a handful of them per year, and while such a diagnosis will effect her peripheral vision, she won't know anything different and it won't keep her from doing any normal activities. Any. The only thing they'll have to watch for as she ages (think 20's to 30's and beyond) is potential retina detachment. Rare, but it happens simply because the nerve doesn't have as much eye to hold on to back there since it isn't fully formed. Did that all make sense?</div>
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Finally, Dr. S discussed her eye turning, which we will now call Strabismus. This is relatively common. I bet you can think of at least two people you know who have a wandering or turned eye. Cora's her eyes are misaligned in two different ways.</div>
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Her treatment plan: Dr. S has prescribed a patching regimen for Cora. Patching only, no glasses. He "checked her prescription" (no idea how he did that) while she was under and said her eyes do not need glasses. We will patch her better (left) eye (the one with the coloboma) for two continuous hours, once daily, thereby forcing her to use that right eye to see. It's like a work-out for her eye. This is done so that the neural pathway from the worse eye to the brain is well maintained. Without patching, the young brain may decide the right eye isn't worth the work, and turn off that pathway. We don't want that to happen. We will see Dr. S again in three months at which point he will likely schedule her for surgery to correct the strabismus. </div>
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Correcting the strabismus will involve tugging gently on the muscles of her right eye such that it is straight. This will not only be done for aesthetic reasons (so she looks symmetrical, so to speak) but also so that she can more easily focus.</div>
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When the Dr.'s were don'e talking to us the nurses brought me a crying, adorable, warm, thrashing, infant. She didn't quite know what to do with herself. She was disoriented, couldn't latch to nurse, wouldn't fully open her eyes, and had horrible medicinal smelling breath. After a few moments she would latch, but only for a second before sitting up and flailing for a bit. Then back down to nurse. This continued for 15-20 minutes. Sometime around then I handed her off to daddy so I could go to the bathroom. When I came back she was fussy, but not flailing. She was focusing a little more, and seemed to be more present. As I picked her up and carried her out into the larger room she really came back around, doling out smiles and trying to wiggle out of my arms. </div>
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As much as I thought she'd fall asleep in the car and take some epic nap, she didn't. Nor did she fall asleep when we got home and I attempted to put her down for a nap. "mom", I could hear her saying, "I napped for, like, 45 minutes on an operating table. a girl's gotta play!" So, she's upstairs with Jonathan being her normal self plus a little feisty streak left over from the anesthesia. </div>
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Thank you so much for your prayers - we're so grateful for friends that care for our kids. It looks like we've got a plan for the next three months, and then a potential surgery, so I'll keep you informed as I learn more.</div>
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<br /></div>Melissa K.http://www.blogger.com/profile/09075606544086273338noreply@blogger.com7tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7342888472094270248.post-44868572240026701322012-07-21T13:23:00.000-07:002012-07-21T13:23:08.455-07:00Add it to the list... The list of reasons I'm so glad Cora breastfed.<br />
<br />
Let me explain. This afternoon I received what was possibly the most welcomed phone call with possibly the most relieving information I can remember in recent history. It was dr. So. As in, he called me. A pediatric ophthalmologist called me directly. Not the nurse, but the actual specialist. I was floored.<br />
<br />
Anyway, the short version is (because I'm typing this on my phone) cora cleared all her blood draw labs. AND:she can be breastfed all the way up to 4 hours before being anesthetized.
After the scheduling nurse told me she needed to be npo for 8 hours, I did some research. Turns out, breastmilk is a category unto its own. Because it is so quickly digested, the surgical anesthesiologist deems it safe within four hours of go time. Nothing else is approved, just breastmilk.<br />
<br />
Whew.<br />
<br />
I know this probably didn't sound like a really big deal (not nursing for 8 hours) but to me, it was huge. The prospect of listing to my baby cry all night long The night before such a procedure was daunting. Now, had the Dr maintained it was necessary. Of course I would have followed his instructions, but I am so grateful it isn't necessary. So, so, grateful.Melissa K.http://www.blogger.com/profile/09075606544086273338noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7342888472094270248.post-91919396247780649322012-07-21T13:00:00.000-07:002012-07-21T13:24:08.426-07:00A mom's eye viewIn case you were wondering what Cora's eyes look like (or on case you hadn't already noticed), Here are a few pictures. You'll notice that sometimes (most often) the right eye is turned in, but sometimes it's the left eye. If you look quite closely you may also notice that the right eye is a tiny bit lower than the left eye. Sometimes when you're with her, her eyes appear perfectly normal, but they almost always look a little off in photos because of the still-shot.<br />
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Yes, we noticed all of these things when she was quite young. Yes, we took our concerns to our pediatrician. Yes, I worried. But the VAST majority of the time, in the VAST majority of children, these kinds of things work themselves out within the first four to six months. Our pediatrician said it would be most prudent to wait it out and see what happens. I'm not kicking myself for following her instruction, but I guess a part of me does with we had the benefit of foresight and had known this would still be an issue so we could have had it looked at sooner.Melissa K.http://www.blogger.com/profile/09075606544086273338noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7342888472094270248.post-23903417937309405332012-07-14T19:51:00.003-07:002012-07-14T19:51:43.989-07:00Save the dateThursday, July 26th<br />
7:30am<br />
<br />
That is when Cora's exam/potential surgery is scheduled.<br />
Although I know this should probably be the least of my concerns, I think the thing I find most daunting currently is the prospect of not nursing her at all the night before (no food or drink 8 hours prior is the requirement).<br />
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Please bathe our little family in prayer, would you? I'm not even sure what to pray right now, but He knows, and I'm quite sure He intercedes for me when my words are totally inadequate. I guess our biggest hope would be that the two surgeons (Dr. P and Dr. S) would be able to get a very clear view of what is going on/has occurred, such that we have a very clear diagnosis and treatment.<br />
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Sigh. I'm a wreck.<br />
I just want this all to be over with so I can be on the other side looking back on a completely successful procedure that gave glory to God. Because that is what I want it to be.Melissa K.http://www.blogger.com/profile/09075606544086273338noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7342888472094270248.post-64655956011019300372012-07-12T17:54:00.001-07:002012-07-12T17:54:42.602-07:00Another day, another doctorToday his name was Dr. Pan, and he was a retinal specialist.<br />
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Rewind...<br />
Monday we saw Dr. Sauberan (Dr. S) who told us that Cora had what he called "scaring" behind her eye, around the optic nerve. He also said that her right eye did not form 100%. Both eyes turn in occasionally, the right one more often. Usually Dr. S would have prescribed glasses for the turn, possibly a patching regimen as well, but he wanted a specialist to look at the back of her eye first to make sure there wasn't something related to that scaring that could make her a good candidate for corrective surgery.<br />
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So, he referred us to Dr. Pan (Dr. P) who works as a retinal specialist, mostly with elderly folks with glaucoma, and those with diabetes. He is a really nice Dr. who also happens to have a 6 month old baby. Because Cora is a squirmy worm of a child, he couldn't get as good of a look as he would have liked (we kinda knew this would happen going into it, as Dr. S warned us) He saw enough to make a few conjectures:<br />
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<ul>
<li><span style="background-color: white;">The scarring he can see looks like it is old. Not new. It looks like it is done, not continuing. I emphasize that he made this remark about the scarring he <u><b>can </b></u>see, because it is possible that there is more he can't see. In his words, he got only a "very rudimentary look" at the back of her eye.</span></li>
<li><span style="background-color: white;">She could have a number of things going on behind her eye, and the only way to get a good look is to put her under anesthesia. This will happen some Thursday morning in the next month (the scheduling nurse will call me) and will be a team-effort between Dr. P, and Dr. S.</span></li>
<li><span style="background-color: white;">If, when they put her under anesthesia, they find a fixable problem, they will intubate her and perform surgery right then and there. </span></li>
<li><span style="background-color: white;">If they don't find a fixable problem, then at least Dr. P will have taken a professional, and lengthy, look at the back of her eyes, enough to say what the pressing issues are. At that time Dr. S will probably prescribe either glasses, or a patching regimen, or some other course of action.</span></li>
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I came away from the appointment today with more (helpful) information than I thought I would. I was pleasantly relieved to hear him say that it doesn't look like the damage is continuing, but rather that it looks like it occurred, and stopped occurring. Again though, he emphasized, he didn't get a good look.</div>
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Truthfully, I've been paralyzed by fear lately - fear that my daughter's vision is not only damaged, but continuing to deteriorate; fear that her damaged vision may not be improvable with glasses; fear that what vision she does have won't be enough to do things I dream of her doing like driving, bike riding, reading, etc. The fear has kept me up nights. It's heavy, and it infiltrates my daily interactions with others - like a barrier of dense fog. </div>
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Fear is so ugly, and it serves no purpose at all, except to rob you of peace and joy. But man, it seems impossible to be free of fear when there are so many unknowns.</div>
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<br /></div>Melissa K.http://www.blogger.com/profile/09075606544086273338noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7342888472094270248.post-87544215482712329092012-07-09T14:25:00.001-07:002012-07-09T14:25:14.751-07:00Cora's sweet eyeswell, that wasn't what I had expected.<br />
To be fair though, I had no idea what to expect.<br />
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I haven't said too much about Cora's eyes yet because, frankly, until now there hasn't been much to say.<br />
Cora, like all newborns, liked to cross her eyes. If you've had a newborn, you know exactly what I mean. But by four months she hadn't outgrown the habit. The pediatrician wanted us to wait until six months and see if they'd straighten out but they (namely her right eye) didn't. She recommended us to the only pediatric ophthalmologist in town, Dr. Sauberan.<br />
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So, at 1:45 today, squarely in the middle of nap time, Out we went to see the good doctor. It's important to note that an ophthalmologist is a step above an optometrist - which is a God-sent, because we don't have Cora on our vision insurance. Hurray for Medical insurance coverage of Ophthamology!<br />
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So, he dialated her sweet little eyes. We went back out into the waiting room for thirty minutes with an overtired baby. We went back into the exam room with an overtired baby. The good doctor looked at the over tired baby's eyes. Here is what he saw:<br />
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Both eyes cross. The right one crosses more. There is something wrong at the base of her eyes - at the optic nerve - but it's difficult to tell what that is. Again, the right one is worse, but the problem affects both eyes. He said it appears as though one of two things is happening. Maybe both.<br />
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First, it could be that the eye didn't form all the way. Eyes start out flat and then wrap around themselves during development like a taco. Her right eye is missing a little piece at the bottom, almost as though the eye never finished forming.<br />
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Second, the doctor noted a fair amount of what he called "scarring" at the base of the optic nerve. Both eyes are affected, but again, the right is worse. He said that this scarring (which he hasn't seen before) could have been caused by an infection (although Cora has never had so much as a mild fever, let alone a cold or infection) or possibly by something in utero.<br />
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The first of these two things, he sees all the time. The second, he's never seen in a baby. So, immediately we were referred to the retinologist. We see him Thursday afternoon.<br />
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Prognosis? Yeah, I'd like an answer to that one too. The doctor is encouraged that Cora appears to have very normal vision on the outset. She follows objects, brings things successfully to her mouth, focuses, swaps items from hand to hand, is beginning to crawl, etc. He is encouraged that she appears to have good vision. What we really don't know though is whether what is wrong with her eyes is done, or is continuing to get worse.<br />
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So, after we see the retinologist on Thursday it is very very likely that Cora will be scheduled for a more serious optic nerve evaluation under general anesthesia. This would be performed in tandem by the retinologist and the ophthalmologist. Whew.<br />
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The good news: There aren't any growths, tumors, or any other foreign bodies present behind Cora's eyes. While rare, that does happen. Also good news is that she isn't blind (we never really thought she was, but hey, count your blessings!)<br />
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I'll update as I get more infrormation. Right now I'm in a fog anyhow, just trying to digest what I've heard. I'm afraid for my darling baby for all the normal motherly reasons - you know, that she won't be absolutely normal, that she'll face challenges, that she won't be able to do vision oriented tasks like driving, reading, bike riding, etc. But just as we are confident that her very life belongs to the Lord, we are confident that He will give her the tools she needs (and us the tools we need) to overcome any challenge to His Glory.<br />
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That may have sounded well thought out, but I assure you I'm forgetting a lot. More to come as I remember it.<br />
<br />Melissa K.http://www.blogger.com/profile/09075606544086273338noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7342888472094270248.post-66654652932665791822012-05-14T12:34:00.000-07:002012-05-14T12:34:38.167-07:00A letter to our childrenLate one evening, long after the kids and I had gone to bed, my husband sat down and wrote a letter to our two children. I knew when I married this man that it was for far more than his good looks and intelligence. Indeed, I knew when I married this man it was because I knew God had chosen him to be the spiritual leader and driving force of our family-to-be. I'll share the letter he wrote to our children, and maybe it will inspire you, too, to put into writing the most foundational, fundamental truths you wish to impress upon your family.<div>
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<i>To my beloved children.</i></div>
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<i>I am taking time to write to you briefly of some important things I pray I will be given the opportunity to speak with you about and model for you on a continuing basis (along with your mother) as you grow up. There is much that could be said, but for want of ability to say it all I will limit my thoughts to what is currently most on my heart when it comes to you both.</i></div>
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<i>First and foremost I commend you, along with J.C. Ryle (Thoughts for Young Men), to determine as long as you live to make the Bible your guide & adviser. The Bible may seem overwhelming to tackle and you will doubtless receive many and various opinions regarding it. I commend you to the task all the more and not without guidance.</i></div>
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<i>Mark Driscoll sums the Bible up well in his small books On the Old Testament and On the New Testament, which I think you will find very helpful. The central things of which I have become convinced, but you each will have to discover yourselves, are the inspiration, inerrancy, and authority of Scripture.</i></div>
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<i>The single thing I suggest, and eagerly so, you keep in mind as you search God’s Word is to learn the very nature of God. This can, I think, be seen most clearly in the New Testament Incarnation of God the Son – the life, death, and resurrection of Jesus the promised Old Testament Messiah or Christ.</i></div>
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<i>The implications are staggering both for mankind and indeed the rest of creation! The themes of necessary atonement and promised restoration/reconciliation/<wbr></wbr>renewal are rampant throughout the Bible and are among its chief unifying threads. They highlight the weight and depth of sin well as the beauty and extent of God’s gracious and loving provision of salvation and redemption. </i></div>
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<i>I have found the New Testament book of Hebrews to be particularly helpful to me in brining to Old and New Testaments together in Christ. The Old Testament book of Isaiah is lush the themes of atonement and restoration and connected references to the Messiah. Isaiah 53 has been, for me, the most impactful by far! </i></div>
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<i>The Apostle Paul spoke well when stating, “I am saying nothing beyond what the prophets and Moses said would happen – that the Christ (or Messiah) would suffer and, as first to rise from the dead, would proclaim light to his own people (for Jesus was a Jew) and to the Gentiles (for God so loved the world).” (Ac.26:22-23) To put it another way, “Salvation is from the Jews,” (Jn.4:22) but for both Jew and Gentile.</i></div>
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<i>Secondly I must write to each of you in turn of the unique challenges you will face as male and female in the fallen world you find yourselves in.</i></div>
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<i>My daughter, the world and the culture will strain it its attempts to persuade you that your value is in the way you look and dress. You will be encouraged to give pieces of yourself away (visually, physically, and emotionally) for far, far less that you are worth (and by that I mean life-long commitment in marriage). You will naturally crave attention as a young lady, so guard yourself well.</i></div>
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<i>My son, the world and the culture will strain in its attempt to persuade you to take all that you can as it pertains to what it attempts to persuade women to give away. This will start with your eyes! It will encourage you to take looks, steal glances. You will naturally crave this, so guard yourself well. What you look at will have a profound affect on how you view women (worth life long commitment in marriage).</i></div>
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<i>God designed sex to act like glue within the confines of marriage (for both are His idea, meant to be inextricably connected) and it serves its intended purpose well (Ge.2:24). Outside the confines of marriage it still functions much the same in a world that would encourage you to act as if it does not and therefor tear yourself apart moving from one partner to another as if sex were a purely a physical act (i.e. if the physical consequences be removed it has no affect on you as a person). This is pure folly!</i></div>
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<i>Lastly, but preeminently, I want you to know that it is an unspeakable blessing and privilege to be your father and watch you grow up. It is second only to being the husband of your mother and a child of God. I was not until I was blessed with you as my children that I understood what my parents must have felt for my siblings and I growing up. And I think I learned just a little bit more of God as a Father.</i></div>
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<span style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;">I love you so.</span></i></span><span style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;">
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And to this I will only add something small; Daughter of mine, After our Father God himself, look to your earthly father as a prime example of Godly Manhood. Watching him, and remembering how he treats you, will teach you everything you need to know to evaluate the men who value you enough to consider asking for your hand in marriage. And son, watch your father. In him God has given you your most excellent earthly example of biblical masculinity.
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Lord, thank you for this man. From the overflow of the heart, the mouth speaks.</div>Melissa K.http://www.blogger.com/profile/09075606544086273338noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7342888472094270248.post-17780757171328117622012-02-29T12:18:00.003-08:002012-02-29T12:18:42.517-08:00I was so nieve<br />
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<span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: Tahoma, sans-serif; font-size: 8.5pt; line-height: 115%;">It was back when I was
pregnant with Levi, still working full time, that my then boss and I got caught
up in a discussion about how his triplets (!!!) were being picky at the dinner
table. They were five years old. They refused to eat anything green and also
didn’t like potatoes. Any kind of potatoes. Even fries. I may have appeared
understanding, but I was snickering on the inside. Surely, I thought, this was
caused by soft parenting. Anyone whose anyone knows that if kids are only
offered what the family is eating, eventually they’ll get hungry enough to eat
what’s put in front of them and thereby conform to the family. I must have said
something somewhat snarky because I clearly remember my boss telling me that,
as a pregnant woman without any kids yet, I was the best parent I’d ever be.</span></div>
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<span style="background: white; color: #333333; font-family: "Tahoma","sans-serif"; font-size: 8.5pt; line-height: 115%;">Wow. Did he have me
pegged or what?<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="background: white; color: #333333; font-family: "Tahoma","sans-serif"; font-size: 8.5pt; line-height: 115%;">This past week has been
FULL of power struggles with my oldest cherub. I’ve been daily reminded that as
humans, our sinfull hearts are evident even from a very tender young age.
Discipline has been so difficult with Levi lately. What is right, what is
wrong? How will he best learn? How can I give him the most accurate
representation possible of how God loves us as HIS children? I must discipline
him in love, and not anger, but MAN is that hard.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="background: white; color: #333333; font-family: "Tahoma","sans-serif"; font-size: 8.5pt; line-height: 115%;">Oh, and he won’t eat
anything I put in front of him at the dinner table. Even fries.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<br /></div>Melissa K.http://www.blogger.com/profile/09075606544086273338noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7342888472094270248.post-91909244557957793302012-02-09T13:06:00.001-08:002012-02-09T13:06:13.664-08:00Overdue update<br />
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The fact that it’s been so long since I’ve blogged should give you some
insight into how busy I am. Or rather, how busy I feel. I marvel at women who
have more than two kids, as I myself don’t feel like I can adequately
accomplish (to my standards) much of anything these days. Ah well, comes with the territory. And that
territory has been lots of fun lately. Here is a totally informal bulleted list
of some of the things I’ve made note of recently:<o:p></o:p></div>
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</span></span><!--[endif]-->Cora is closing in on the ten pound mark (I’d
guess she’ll be there by next Wednesday at the latest) and has been
consistently gaining an ounce a week on breastmilk alone. If you knew me when I
had Levi (or if you go back in the archives of my blog) you will see that Levi
and I struggled mercilessly with milk supply and traveled a long road of
supplementation etc. before finally being able to exclusively breastfeed. I prayed fervently for the breastfeeding
relationship Cora and I would have, and the Lord provided greatly! Things have
been so very much different!<o:p></o:p></div>
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</span></span><!--[endif]-->For a LONG while (maybe 5 weeks) Cora would not
go back to sleep and stay that way after nursing in the middle of the night.
Ugh. We tried EVERYTHING we could think
of. Finally we reluctantly moved her to her own room as a last ditch effort. Ta
da! It was a huge success. A week or so
later we attempted to swaddle her again (which had been a big mistake
previously) and she decided it was quite a nice way to sleep. We’re very much
enjoying one 5-6 hour stretch of sleep each night, and then another 3-4 hour
stretch after that.<o:p></o:p></div>
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</span></span><!--[endif]-->Cora likes to be close to mommy. Surprised? Don’t
all babies? Anyway, she loves nothing more than nursing and snuggling in bed
with us. And we love it too – just not all night long because this mama don’t
sleep too well with a baby next to her. Our afternoon naps together are simply
blissful<o:p></o:p></div>
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</span></span><!--[endif]-->About two weeks ago Cora started mirroring
smiles – it’s more precious than words can express, so I’ll leave you with a
picture:<o:p></o:p></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi3XnUqVm7_O_FeLuiYGCuBguMoYlKWHScuNNAHtMuJiB3hrdq9I6Cs0WGXBmfDfJ-rQ0siaSVBU05ZAzxudUpe6Brjr22vbveA8UUgtZ9LEyyvP-m300VY1RKgnBwMwhkRHaW_-rF29OU/s1600/IMG_2271.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi3XnUqVm7_O_FeLuiYGCuBguMoYlKWHScuNNAHtMuJiB3hrdq9I6Cs0WGXBmfDfJ-rQ0siaSVBU05ZAzxudUpe6Brjr22vbveA8UUgtZ9LEyyvP-m300VY1RKgnBwMwhkRHaW_-rF29OU/s320/IMG_2271.JPG" width="320" /></a></div>
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</span></span><!--[endif]-->Cora loves bathtime. Like her brother, she plays
the part of the exhibitionist joyously. She If she appears unhappy, take her
diaper off and she’ll be happy as a clam. <o:p></o:p></div>
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</span></span><!--[endif]-->Bright lights make Cora cry. Dim lighting makes
her sleepy. She likes music, and white noise, and very soft blankets. Most of
all, she likes to be kept unreasonably warm.<o:p></o:p></div>
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</span></span><!--[endif]-->The car-seat isn’t her favorite (I don’t know
many babies who enjoy it) but a good car ride will put her to sleep – until we
reach a red light at which point I’ll look back and see her little face scrunch
up until she whimpers. So sad to watch. <o:p></o:p></div>
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</span></span><!--[endif]-->Levi loves his little sister, most of the time.
He isn’t usually bothered when she cries – except on time last week when he
sweetly shushed her before placing a pillow over her face. Darling child.<o:p></o:p></div>
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</span></span><!--[endif]-->Cora officially outgrew her newborn clothes over
the last week. She’s solidly into her 0-3’s (or 3 month if she’s in cloth
diapers, which we’re using more and more these days, although not exclusively
by any means)<o:p></o:p></div>
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</span></span><!--[endif]-->Cora really only naps in her swing, but I can’t
complain. heck, she naps! As I type
this, she’s swinging peacefully and Levi is crying in his bed. <span style="text-indent: -0.25in;">This past week
has been VERY tough for him. I find him begging for attention and for obvious
reasons I don’t as much to give him as I used to. As a result, he’s trying to
get my negative attention by acting out and being intentionally disobedient. It’s
heartbreaking and infuriating at the same time – especially as I have less than
half the patience I need and less sleep than I’d like. Dealing with his needs
(and not meeting my own expectations in that regard) is far more difficult than
meeting Cora’s daily needs. Babies are easier than toddlers.</span></div>
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<o:p></o:p></div>
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And with that I’ll go tend to the crying toddler. I may
come back and add things to this as I think of them. Like that bit about how
our friends bought us a Roku player which keeps me company during those late
night feedings. It’s magical!<o:p></o:p></div>Melissa K.http://www.blogger.com/profile/09075606544086273338noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7342888472094270248.post-91122883901313757202012-01-10T13:08:00.000-08:002012-01-10T13:08:52.136-08:00Guess who's here...<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">
Yes, I know. I haven't blogged in - like - eons. And here's why:</div>
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This is the part where I say to everyone "oh, I'll do better from here on out, I'll blog daily again, really, I will. It's my new-years resolution in fact... yada yada yada" except I'm not going to because I'm more of a realist than anything these days. I know as well as you all do that there is even LESS of a chance that I will blog now, than there was that I would blog whilst pregnant. </div>
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Whew. That was cathartic. Now onto cuter things.</div>
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Cora Grace Kathleen Hnosko was Born on Tuesday, December 20th at 10:46am - a full ten days before her due date (halleluia!) She weighed 6lbs 14oz, and measured 19.5" long..She is everything her brother was NOT as a newborn. She sleeps almost all day (and as a result is up a lot at night, but not in the screaming angry baby way, more of a "I'm awake and happy" way. It's cute) and is content to sit in a swing, or a bouncy seat and observe the view. It shocks me really. If you knew Levi as a newborn, it would shock you too. She sleeps A TON!</div>
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In case you are interested in this sort of thing (and because I really should type it out before I forget it) Here's Cora's abbreviated birth story:</div>
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On the morning of Monday the 19th, something was different. I can't put it into words, but something was in the air - enough so that I called my friend Rachael, who was on "babywatch" to take Levi off our hands if we needed to make a dash to the hospital, and Joyce, my doula, to give them a heads-up. It wasn't until around 5pm that contractions started. I say "contractions" but in my opinion they were really just strong braxton hicks. They were wimpy to say the very least. I went to bed that night and tried to sleep them off.</div>
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I awoke around 1am and couldn't get back to sleep - not because the contractions hurt, but because they were annoying, and had moved closer together (about 3 minutes apart). I called my support team (Midwife, Doula, Rachael) and in a couple hours time we were on our way to the hospital at my midwife's request.</div>
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I was a mere 3 centimeters dilated. Hardly anything to be excited about. I was blessed with a delightful labor and delivery nurse (Jane) who also happens to be a midwife. She totally left me alone, which is exactly what I wanted. For the next three hours I paced and paced and paced. At this point my baby girl was ROP (Right occiput posterior) also known as mostly-sunny-side-up. NOT a comfortable position to deliver in. I knew the more I moved around, the better chance I had that she'd move into an Anterior position, but nothing was a sure bet. So, I mixed it up a little spending some of my time on my feet, and some on my hands and knees, hoping gravity would shift this baby around.</div>
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Somewhere in there I lost track of time. Tunnel vision came upon me and I wasn't speaking in sentences any longer. Remembering how long and arduous Levi's labor and delivery were I kept reminding myself that I had a lot longer to go, and that the pain still had much worse to get. This was only the small stuff, I had to keep it together because the worst is yet to come.</div>
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It must have been sometime around 10am when my water broke. That was something I never felt with Levi (I had an epidural around 9 cm and they broke my water just before he came out) and man, was it a weird sensation. At that point labor became intensely difficult. I struggled to focus. My midwife came to see how I was doing and, because I requested not to be "checked", she estimated I was around 6cm dilated based on where I was initially, how much time had passed, etc. She left the room to go check on another patient.</div>
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I was exhausted. I laid down on the bed for the first time that day. It was likely no longer than 10 minutes after my midwife left that I felt Cora turn from Posterior to Anterior (HOORAY!) and immediately my whole core began to push her out. I felt almost like a fly on the wall as my body did all the work for me. It was supernatural. I simply don't have the words to describe how relieving it felt to push through all that pain. Strange, I know, but that really was the best part of labor although I had feared it would be the worst.</div>
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Now, mind you, my midwife was down the hall. Levi, my firstborn was out in 30 minutes, so I knew this would be quick. my midwife scurried back into the room, and threw on her gloves (no time for her gown) and with two pushes Cora was out!</div>
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She didn't cry. She was rather blue. So after a quick sit on my chest, off she went. Turned out that with her quick arrival she hadn't coughed up all the junk that had accumulated in her lungs over the past 9 months. Not only that, but she had a belly FULL of meconium (poop). Needless to say, she was in the nursery under observation for low O2 saturation for the better part of 3 hours. It was heartbreaking to see her lying there and not be able to snuggle and nurse her, but by the grace of God she came out of it and returned with us to our room.</div>
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All in all, this was a fantastic birth experience for me - everything Levi's birth wasn't. It was healing. My recovery was 100% faster, and my post partum mental state an even keel. Nursing has also been completely unproblematic, and absolutely wonderful. Praise be to the LORD! Many of you know the trouble Levi and I had with nursing, and let me tell you, every baby is different, and boy am I glad.</div>
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And I'll have to leave it at that as I have not one, but two little ones who should soon be waking. Check facebook for more adorable pictures!</div>
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<br /></div>Melissa K.http://www.blogger.com/profile/09075606544086273338noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7342888472094270248.post-459688937821607762011-11-14T12:22:00.001-08:002011-11-14T13:02:56.229-08:00about to pop...<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
...or so it feels, and yet there are still six weeks and change left before this little one is due. </div>
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This is my little basketball at 34 weeks, just as round and directly in front of me as Levi ever was. If I showed you a picture of me from head on, (especially in this black shirt) you may not know I'm even pregnant, but a profile view makes it plenty obvious! </div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgAK6emiLtOP6paxkfO0Wf2CIhO1C5nsNA-jOnb7Ib3FqYFGLPPWklV5wTvgYuy6E_pho9R9FXIOiT7zo8I_SzgHmDL2XjYig61h0RWphEaExlFGSZv43mi5LtADGiqHL3b47boO1BPpLE/s1600/34+weeks.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="640" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgAK6emiLtOP6paxkfO0Wf2CIhO1C5nsNA-jOnb7Ib3FqYFGLPPWklV5wTvgYuy6E_pho9R9FXIOiT7zo8I_SzgHmDL2XjYig61h0RWphEaExlFGSZv43mi5LtADGiqHL3b47boO1BPpLE/s640/34+weeks.JPG" width="360" /></a></div>
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Remember <a href="http://www.blogger.com/blogger.g?blogID=7342888472094270248#editor/target=post;postID=4826237780719562797">this </a>post, and <a href="https://fbcdn-sphotos-a.akamaihd.net/photos-ak-snc1/v3269/201/111/27204613/n27204613_35875637_1302554.jpg">this </a>photo? Now there's a trip down memory lane, less than three short years ago.. I feel like I'm carrying exactly the same way this time as last, although (thankfully) not gaining as much weight this time. Something about chasing around a 2 1/2 year old all day long doesn't exactly lend itself to eating leisurely meals.<br />
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2 1/2, that's right.Just a short two weeks until my firstborn is half way to five - I can hardly believe it. He's jumped SO many milestones during my pregnancy, it's hard to keep track of them all. I'd say the most delightful of those milestones has occurred most recently: his ability, and desire, to "pretend" play all by himself. All of the sudden his toys talk to one another, and I'll find him sitting in his room having conversations. Not surprisingly, most of those conversations revolve around similar conversations he and I have had, so frequently I think he's talking to me. But no, it's his tractor and dump truck who, through him, are discussing what is appropriate and inappropriate. occasionally the offending toy gets a time out. and then a hug and a kiss. It's perfectly adorable.<br />
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Although even I find it a poor excuse, my blogging life has taken a complete nose dive during this pregnancy as I have slept on every possible occasion. My delightful Levi takes a solid 90 minute nap (longer if I'm lucky) and I try my hardest to sleep as well. Often these days, sleep alludes me (both daytime and nighttime) due mostly to my complete inability to maintain a comfortable position. But ah, such is pregnancy. I am daily grateful for not one but TWO chiropractors who keep me and my misaligned pelvis ambulatory.<br />
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Jonathan is, just this week, making his last two batches of cheese for the year - I'm so very glad he'll get a break from early mornings and long days here soon. Lately we've both been sick sick sick with some nasty upper-respiratory virus (mine was confirmed today to have morphed into a sinus infection - oh joy) and since we've both been coughing and sputtering so much we've split off into different rooms of the house for sleep. While I'll admit that the extra bed space is nice, it's rather disconcerting to wake up alone in bed. Needless to say, I'm anxious for us all to be well.<br />
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I'm pretty sure that's all there is to update everyone on. Except, of course, to remind myself and anyone who may be reading that we continue to feel unreasonably blessed by the Lord's provision and blessing over our lives. We feel so unworthy, and yet so grateful. The ails of pregnancy pale in comparison to the blessing of a new life, and although I may complain from time to time about this or that, we really are astonished that the Lord provides and blesses us in the ways that He has.<br />
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Baby's still due Dec. 30th, but if you see me in January and I'm still pregnant, don't be surprised. :)Melissa K.http://www.blogger.com/profile/09075606544086273338noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7342888472094270248.post-30101113214944849762011-08-26T12:33:00.000-07:002011-08-26T12:45:01.872-07:00NOT ME FridayI keep missing Monday, so here it goes<div>
<br /></div><div>I did NOT plug in the George Foreman grill instead of the coffee pot in my half-asleep stooper. The smell of heating metal and old hamburger grease which filled me home did not then make me sick.</div><div>
<br /></div><div>I did NOT literally break a sweat putting on compression stockings this morning. I also did not wear said stockings with shorts, unabashadly. No, truly a fashion no-no. And you won't find me re-adjusting these blasted things ALL DAY LONG. Not ME! Although, to be fair, it also wasn't me who decided to go one morning without said blasted stockings only to discover that I was FAR more cofortable with them ON, than with them OFF. (I am not wondering how on EARTH I'll manage to don these things with a watermelon in my abdomen, a cantaloupe gives me enough challange)</div><div>
<br /></div><div>I am NOT thoroughly and completely enjoying owning a smartphone - an object I told a number of people I may never own. I'm also not texting, or using swype to do it. and I'm certainly not learning a SWATH of new things every day, making me feel more and more like someone who was completely out of touch with technology. </div><div>
<br /></div><div>I am NOT at all surprised that we're having a girl. No, in fact I think I planned it that way. Would you believe I've spent Months on end thinking this would be a girl, and collecting all sorts of pink and frilly things? Indeed, I am Not at all taking a VERY LONG time to let this fact settle in, and to fully understand what it means. No, it's all come very quickly and naturally.</div><div>
<br /></div><div>I do NOT save blogging for the end of nap time every day then then allow it to surprise me that I don't have enough time to do it. That would be silly. Truly. </div>Melissa K.http://www.blogger.com/profile/09075606544086273338noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7342888472094270248.post-69658658162749786132011-08-17T12:40:00.000-07:002011-08-17T12:56:39.654-07:00words.I have very little to say, but I am feeling the guilt that comes along with waiting FAR too long to blog. So, here are some phrases and words that should bring you up to date:<div>
<br /></div><div><ul><li>It's a <b><span class="Apple-style-span" >girl </span></b>- or at least it will be. No wait, it IS, and it WILL be, but she's still baking. We'll wait to name her until she arrives around the new year.</li><li>I'm still sick. Dang. Hoped morning sickness would find its end but alas, it continues, although in a much, much weaker form than it took on a few months ago.</li><li>We're switching to Sprint (but we haven't yet so if you can think of any really compelling reasons why we should stay with AT&T, please speak up) We've had the same plan for 8 years (maybe 9, actually) and it's time to make a few changes.</li><li>I'm wearing compression stockings. Don't know what those are hmm? consider yourself lucky. My two pregnancy bellies have placed themselves only (and I mean ONLY) directly in front of me, which puts extra pressure on the veins running down my legs, and thus, I find myself in compression stockings. I could explain further, but really, those are probably all the details you need.</li><li>I don't think my daughter and I will have the same affinity for chocolate. Poor girl. I haven't been able to stomach it for months (hopefully my mother-in-law will still call us family)</li><li>I battled the teensy kitchen ants - and won. Thank you Terro.</li><li>I set fire to our oven - Jonathan and his trusty fire extinguisher won. My pizza stone lost.</li><li>we may be re-roofing before winter. Not sure yet though.</li><li>We may be getting a new (to us) car. Not sure yet though. (no rush there)</li></ul><div>There's a quick and messy update. I posted dozens of pictures from throughout our summer on my facebook page - pictures of the county fair, Levi's birthday party, our trip to the Omaha zoo, and many others that had been sitting on my camera for far too long- hope you have a moment to check them out. I've tried a few times to upload them here, but blogger is giving me grief over that and I suspect I need to update my version of Chrome before uploading them will be successful. We shall see. </div></div>Melissa K.http://www.blogger.com/profile/09075606544086273338noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7342888472094270248.post-57405584473581384942011-07-25T11:28:00.000-07:002011-07-25T11:47:45.017-07:00Oddly disconcerting<div style="text-align: center;"><b><br /></b></div><div style="text-align: center;"><b>Do you ever...</b></div><div><br /></div><img src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjisoje2UlhsQio7oRKcXZ2ID9zcINc3H4s8Z4b_MfxiuzONhdsgU2LRF5sWXMId7kPrBm3HvY-xywNcFS4Yex5U8nTtmyQcDpEr-K1MJk1SVQEk_YjMB4eBKTLMtsEKRMZHuB2NCYz0LY/s400/IMG_1667.JPG" style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 400px; height: 300px;" border="0" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5633359910936719474" /><br /><div style="text-align: center;"><b>Feel like you're</b></div><div><div><br /></div><div><img src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjmdLF5XLdFUj4-nX8Y6IIrW8QL97gZoAtd7dJK4LOFNzcbJSkZ3LYZFz3NqTrzdyjK9QWBD9P7qnOzLGJeM43qGCGsQ2IeGOgWDyyo1yQey_AUsq8SGc4_Awe2fced5hpXl6WYdJhx26w/s400/IMG_1668.JPG" style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 400px; height: 300px;" border="0" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5633359912744371186" /><div style="text-align: center;"><br /></div></div><div style="text-align: center;"><b>Being watched?</b></div><div><br /></div><div><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh_80M0xPmwGIikJLwt-JZAnssJMNi3g4qfuR_lD2rfSSWEv2uB_ZdHxo-GQIFSLlZkq6M4dnnnmdlocIegmiq7f2EORiY7kN-SIBIip5IQhvQ4TZBOXxwJAJUMOMJTefGxd9t-CEFCss8/s1600/IMG_1670.JPG" onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}"><img style="text-align: left;display: block; margin-top: 0px; margin-right: auto; margin-bottom: 10px; margin-left: auto; cursor: pointer; width: 400px; height: 300px; " src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh_80M0xPmwGIikJLwt-JZAnssJMNi3g4qfuR_lD2rfSSWEv2uB_ZdHxo-GQIFSLlZkq6M4dnnnmdlocIegmiq7f2EORiY7kN-SIBIip5IQhvQ4TZBOXxwJAJUMOMJTefGxd9t-CEFCss8/s400/IMG_1670.JPG" border="0" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5633359916724281010" /></a><br /><div style="text-align: center;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: center;"><br /></div></div></div>Melissa K.http://www.blogger.com/profile/09075606544086273338noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7342888472094270248.post-79876373289390970842011-07-24T13:02:00.000-07:002011-07-24T13:11:43.644-07:00Furniture Hokey Pokey 2011<div style="text-align: center;"><br /></div>When we moved into this house everything we owned fit (easily) into a medium sized u-haul. Come to think of it, when we moved to the state of Nebraska, everything we owned fit into a small u-haul. How times change when you buy a house and have a baby. Sitting in Levi's room the other day I realized that there was only ONE thing in that entire room that we owned before moving to Nebraska and it was the crappy old dresser we curb-picked back in pullman, and shared for our first three years of marriage (yes mom, I still have it, I don't have the heart to toss it out).<div><br /></div><div>Fast forward to 2011 and yes, we have a LOT more stuff - especially furniture - all of which has been found used or gifted to us. So when we set out to move Levi to his twin bed (the pieces of which were all sourced from different craigslist folks over the past 6 months) it meant moving his crib and changing table out to make room. Of course to do that, we had to have space in the new baby's room across the hall which was filled with a guest bed and various other guest-room items. Hmm... Thus began the great furniture hokey pokey of 2011.</div><div style="text-align: center;"><br /></div><div>We began in the basement office. Rearranging the space was some help, moving my sewing table to the utility/laundry room provided the remainder of the space necessary to move the majority of the guest room downstairs. With the guest room reasonably empty we then had room for the changing table and crib, and (whew) you can guess what we did next...</div><div><br /></div><div><img src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgniC5zyF7BpPVSio2HjRaQ6Q-aCF38sH7eOW3SNJbAY0r71qNleBHe4R6Mg6DIHDa739Iu2O9qdeTk8FHtqdzoizEJ-ur3Y58E_tTra0Fp7gKYYePkqQx218kIc2HY4VrUrRRsTlN2nsM/s400/IMG_1663.JPG" style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 400px; height: 300px;" border="0" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5633013712885149122" /></div><div><br /></div><div>That's right, we finally fulfilled our ultimate goal of setting up Levi's new twin bed, complete with "Thomas" sheet and pillowcase. The boy couldn't have been more excited.</div><div><br /></div><div>After a completely anti-climactic first night and nap in said bed, he has been walking around proudly all day proclaiming "I sleep in a bed" to anyone who will listen. It's priceless. </div><div><br /></div><div>So in the past 90 days my son has weaned, potty trained, and upgraded to a twin bed. and I'm quite sure that's enough change for ME, for now anyway. :) </div>Melissa K.http://www.blogger.com/profile/09075606544086273338noreply@blogger.com3