Tightwad Tuesday: The Healthy Wallet and the Healthy Heart

Alternately titled: How budgeting is like dieting

(except I despise the word "dieting" because it implies a short term fix to reach a long term goal. Not do-able in my book, which is why I prefer the words "healthy lifestyle". Long term. ok, moving on.)

In light of a post earlier on this week, I thought I'd jot down a few things I've realized lately. Over the past, oh, two months (a little less) as I've been taking a good long look at the nutritional lifestyle here at the Hnosko's household. I've noticed that many of the principles of healthy eating I'm trying to re-integrate also apply (quite directly) to healthy spending. Or, to rephrase that, the principles of healthy, long-term weight management, may be more similar to the principles of healthy, long-term financial stewardship than I ever knew.

If you're reading this then you probably already know that I'm not writing any of this down to make anyone believe "I've arrived", or that I in any way "have it all figured out" when it comes to saving/spending/etc. Keeping track of these "ah-ha" moments in writing though, helps me better identify ways in which I can improve - so, that said, here's what I've come to find...

• Everything in Moderation.

I've found that if I go about weight loss in a stringent, many-things-are-off-limits kind of way, I fail. Why? Because it is human nature (or, my nature anyway) to want what I cannot have. Aside from that, once the weight loss transformation is complete, staying away from those no-no's completely will be all-but impossible - I'll have to re-integrate them somehow and there's a good chance I won't do so with moderation. Similarly, if we go about budgeting in such a way that whole categories of spending are "off limits", we won't last. Deprivation will always win.

There are two ways we've tackled this in our family. First, we re-defined "deprived". Five years ago I would have told you that never being able to go out to eat was depriving because hey, we work hard, we've earned a simple $7 burger and fries. Today, with our goals what they are, that same $7 burger and fries are a luxury, and no longer something I feel "deprived of". By re-defining the things we feel like we've "earned", we have less of a desire to spend on things we don't need, and more of a desire to work toward the long-term goals whose way is paved by healthy financial decisions

Second, we started giving ourselves *gasp* spending money. It may sound counter productive, but giving ourselves each $20 a week to do with what we choose was liberating. Coffee with a friend? yes. Frozen yogurt downtown? Sure. But when it's gone, it's gone. Like Dave Ramsay, we call it our "blow money".

What I've learned: don't define my value by what I do and purchase/spend money on. Give myself wiggle room, and respect its given boundaries of moderation.

• When I cheat, I'm not cheating the budget/diet, I'm cheating myself

Because I chose to lose weight with the new Weight-Watchers program, I was given a "daily points allowance". In addition to that, I was also given a "weekly allowance" to do with what I chose. Those points were mine to use or lose. There were enough of extra points to have a slice of cheesecake one night a week, or enough to eat a slightly larger portion a few dinners out of the week. Although I was rarely low on points, there were days when I would peek in my refrigerator and pick something up between thumb and forefinger and slip it into my mouth. Without "paying" the points for it. Without writing it down. It was cheating. Why cheating feels so good I'll never know, because when it comes down to it YOU'RE CHEATING YOURSELF, not the dumb diet.

Same goes with our budget. When we overspend to get something we want but haven't planned for, we aren't cheating our budget, we're cheating ourselves out of the goals we previously set. When I stand in target (a place I only go when I have a coupon in hand, or a prescription to pick up, because I know it's a dangerous place for me) and rummage through the dollar isle for "deals" I've got no blow money left for, I'm not cheating the system, I'm cheating myself.

What I've learned: Plan my meals/budget realistically, and then be honest, and stick to them.

• Tomorrow is a new day: Today's/yesterday's slips-ups are NO EXCUSE for giving up or otherwise putting things off.

Everyone goofs up. Everyone has weak moments. In healthy living those moments look like the reception at aunt myrtle's wedding where you had three pieces of triple chocolate cake. That one weak moment starts a chain of poor choices that catepault you towards a bucketload of negative self-talk, which ultimately causes you to think this whole "healthy lifestyle thing" pointless, and impossible goal to achieve.

In healthy spending the same is true: past financial goof-ups shouldn't be the cause for refusing to try today. Sure, mistakes made in the past may have carved a HUGE hole, and that hole may be very difficult to get out of, but it makes no sense to allow that hole to keep you from trying. We've all got to start somewhere, and today is as good a time as any.

What I've learned: The moment when a mistake is made (be it diet or budget related) is the very moment for reflection and re-grouping - not for throwing in the towel

• Discipline, Obedience, Wisdom and Prudence aren't just for biblical scholars anymore

If reading through the first few chapters of Proverbs has taught me anything at all, it's that discipline, obedience, and prudence are the keys to wisdom. King Solomon, the biblically acclaimed "wisest man who ever lived", makes that very clear. Laziness, short-cuts, and excuses will rarely harbor value, and rarely yield positive long term results.

This goes for healthy living, as well as healthy spending. Crash diets rarely work long term because they focus only on immediate change, not long term transformation. Similarly, strict but short-term financial plans don't have a good track record for long term success. I would surmise that the reason for this is the lack of time and effort spent treating these as lifestyle changes. I'm no expert on ANY of this, but it seems to me the changes (be they budget or diet oriented) which can conceivably be maintained over a lifetime, are the changes that yield maintainable results.

What I've learned: I live in a world where being disciplined is only valued and rewarded in the short term. But in order to reach my goals, and be an example to my children, I have to swim upstream; I have to maintain a lifestyle of discipline, of moderation; a lifestyle that seeks and follows long-term wisdom instead of short-term fun and folly.

So, that's what's been rolling between my ears over the past two weeks. I guess my real question in all of this is why does being disciplined have to be so difficult? I mean, if you're a believer like I am then you no-doubt know that a disciplined life is what we're called to, but why does it have to be so counter-culture. Any thoughts?

Getting Personal

I haven't said much about this because, well, because I find that I quickly lose my focus if I go telling everyone where it is...

Also, because I am human (and therefore quite dislike airing my own failures) part of me didn't want anyone to know for fear that if I were to "fail", I'd have to out myself publicly.

But today, on a beautiful "spring" like Nebraska afternoon, after 6 weeks of steady resolution and determination, after a relatively peacefully submission to the reality that one cannot reach ones goal without some hard work, I feel like speaking up.

Don't hold your breath, this isn't going to be a *WOW* moment, folks.

Finally, what went up for 9 months of pregnancy, has now come down after 20 months of mothering, and 6 weeks of Weight Watchers*. Adios 8 pounds, adios. You were a fair weather friend, but how I longed to see you go.

To almost everyone I know, 8 pounds is hardly an accomplishment, but for me it represents a lot. You'd have to have known me WAY-back-when (Christina, you reading this?) to understand this fully, but by choosing healthy avenues by which to bring myself to better health, (instead of choosing the self-ruining short cuts I've taken in my distant past) I've proven my own success prior to losing a single ounce. I have shown myself what determination, and discipline can do.

8 pounds is 5% of my body. 8 pounds was my goal, but I did not choose it. Weight Watchers chose it for me. My goal includes 2 more pounds. So, forward we march. Forward towards better health. Forward toward eating habits I can maintain for a lifetime, portion sizes that are realistic, ideals focused on health and not body image.

Would you care to join me?

*In case you are even partially familiar with Weight Watchers (as I was prior to my re-joining) you should know that it has changed, A LOT since Jan 2011. Points calculations have changed, daily points alotments have changed - everything. If you want to know more, I'd be happy to share, but suffice it to say (I know, I say that too much) the plan is now a lot more balanced, including in its calculations protein, carbohydrates, fiber, and fat. While I won't go out on a limb and say I haven't been hungry, and every thing has been a bowl full of cherries over the past 6 weeks, I WILL say that I've experienced more balance, I've treated my body with respect, and I've nourished my entire family on the things that I've eaten while losing weight. Thus ends my Weight Watchers Promo.

Spring is in the air...

The best laid plans of mice and moms (and you know how the rest goes)

You may remember this post, where I wrote out my method for yogurtmaking. Well, suffice it to say, I'm still learning. That isn't to infer that I've had a bunch of "failed", trashed batches - I've actully had relatively few of those - but the consistency of some of them has been lacking something. Namly: Thickness.

Recently, and I only figured out why over this past weekend, my yogurt has been runnier than I've liked. Now, I could just skip adding gelatin, and instead run it through cheesecloth, but then I end up with a much lower yield of yogurt, so I've been trying (and trying and trying, to the extend that yogurt making is no longer a money-saving project, but rather a hobby that I'm DETERMINED to make worth the money I've put into it) to get it as thick as I like it without sacrificing yield.

Well, I finally got it. I ended up changing just a couple things. First, I decided to add my sugar (about 2/3C now) after my milk cooled back down to 115 degrees. Second, I sprinkled my gelatin (now 1.5 packets instead of just 1) over the (cold, organic) yogurt starter and let it "set up" for 3-5 minutes before dissolving it in the warm milk. Ok, so, all these things (and a few other little details) worked together and I ended up with BEAUTIFUL yogurt. I took it out of the crockpot, divided it into my little 8oz cups, and the next morning I could set them on their sides and they would hold their shape - without any yucky gelatin mouthfeel whatsoever.

See?

I can't get over how perfect it turned out. Needless to say, I was thrilled. Not so much thrilled about having great yogurt, but more thrilled just to have conquered my problem. To have figured it out. But alas, the penny pincher in me was also happy to have a half gallon of thick, creamy, whole milk yogurt for my son and husband to enjoy.

Wow. was it thick or what? (if you're one of the few reading this who actually make yogurt, and you want the detailed breakdown, lemme know)

And so you may be wondering why I am referring to said "perfect batch" in the past tense. Well, that evening as I was cleaning up my yogurt-making dishes, I came upon my trusty candy thermometer. Although I had rinsed it off, it still appeared to have milk on it. Wait, no, that milk was INSIDE it.

No. Way.

My candy thermometer was broken. The simple fact that it had milk inside it told me that it had indeed broken whilste inside my milk-filled crockpot - I likely bumped it on the inside of the pot when I was checking it's temperature. So, somewhere inside my ten perfect containers of perfect yogurt were whoknowshomany teeny tiny shards of thermometer glass.

Carnage though it was, all of that beautiful yogurt - along with Saturday morning's time and effort - went down the drain. Literally.

I'll be honest and tell you that I had to dump it quickly. It was like ripping off a bandaid.

And you can laugh if you like (because I do realize the ridiculousness of mourning a half gallon of milk, 4oz of starter, 2/3C sugar, and 1.5 packets of galatin) but hopefully you won't have another chance to, because yesterday, I ordered one of these.

And so, hopefully, this will be my very last post about yogurt making. Unless of course I get all crazy and making flavored items - then you may just hear about it.

Proverbs 1

I've been reading through the book of Proberbs recently and I keep coming back to chapter one. It is amazing to me (divine, maybe) how much chapter one relates to my very desire desire - the ways I wish to conduct my life, the character I wish to impart to my kids.

My legacy.

Proverbs, written by the "wisest man who ever lived" reads like this:

"The proverbs of Solomon son of David, king of Israel:

² for attaining wisdom and discipline;
for understanding words of insight;
³ for acquiring a disciplined and prudent life,
doing what is right and just and fair;
⁴ for giving prudence to the simple,
knowledge and discretion to the young—
⁵ let the wise listen and add to their learning,
and let the discerning get guidance—

I bolded and italicized the phrases that JUMPED off the page at me.

THIS is what I am seeking: Wisdom & Prudence

Seeing the right path laid out in front of me, making wise decisions when there are multiple options. Weighing possibilities and, without haste, making wise, prudent choices.

I can see (although only a little) why Solomon asked the Great High God for wisdom, when he could have had anything in the world: He wanted to make good choices, and he knew that those choices would affect his livelihood as much as any of ours do. Small choices, big choices, they may matter to varying degrees, but they all do matter.

When I think about Wisdom and Prudence I think of the things I want them for: Spending is a good example. I want to prudently use the resources we've been entrusted with. Time is another example: I want to slay selfish time-wasting in honor of prudently allocating time to the things I've been called to. I say this because I'm an avid time-waster - which leads me to discipline...

THIS is what I must have and pass on to my kids: Discipline.

Maybe this is all-so evident recently because I've been making changes in my life that require discipline. They require prudence. Staying on track with a budget for example, by its very nature, requires discipline. Maintaining a healthy diet and lifestyle requires discipline. Using time wisely requires discipline

And it ISN'T EASY. We all know that. It may sound redundant, but I think it requires discipline to be disciplined! My fleshly desires do NOT win when I'm disciplined. Oftentimes, they lose. Out right.

I do not have all my thoughts sorted out (I'm sure that's painfully evident in my hap-hazard writing) but one thing is certain: God expects us to seek prudence, and to have discipline in our lives. And that, friends, is a character trait I want my son to see in my life, and one that I want to see in his.

Thus ends my Proverbs 1 "Ah-HA!" moment.

"Music"

Come, They Told me...

Pa Rum pa pum pum...

...On my drum.

A few pictures

Here's a little bit of what we've been up to lately:

Bedtime stories with daddy (a nightly event) in the rocking chair - banana in hand, cup at the ready, and "puppy" within arms reach.

Sick day/snow day (also, with banana in hand. I live with two monkeys). Recently, this monkey learned how to say "cheese" for the camera, and added to that a VERY cheesy grin.

Bouncing and playing at Solid Rock Gymnastics toddler time. Awesome place. He's in the yellow shirt.

Again, at solid rock, about to jump into one of their three foam pits. Can't get out on his own yet so I *get* to jump in and assist. You may not be able to see it far off in the distance, but there is a zip line at the corner of this pit. Totally awesome.

Enjoying "toddler team-up" at the childrens' museum, pouring multi-colored rice into different containers (and, later, throwing it all over the room). Also enjoyed that day were tempera paints with brushes and stamps, markers, and LOTS of soap and water.

Had to get some of these up before I forgot all about them. Enjoy!