Tuesday, February 1, 2011

NOT ME Monday

Let me begin this post by saying that I certainly did NOT forget to post a not-me post yesterday. I always remember everything. During Levi's nap, I always make the very best use of my time, and instead of using the computer for fruitless tasks like blogging and facebooking, I was probably building scale models of the empire state building for my son to admire, and learn from, later. Forget? not me. And even if I did, it wouldn't take This friend, and This friend, to remind me via their oh-so-hilarious not-me-Monday posts.

The past few days have been Full - nay - overflowing with things I did NOT do. Better yet, things I did NOT discover. For example, it was NOT ME who discovered my 20 month old in our living room this morning wielding a RED permanent marker. No, I know from the (horrific) mistakes of others that it is important to keep those WAY out of reach. And it is because I have a great grasp of this principal that I did NOT also find my son in our kitchen with a step-stoop pushed up to the counter, and a steak knife in his tiny, malicious hand. Nope, not me. I'm a highly cautions parent with a penchant for safety.

We are always healthy in this house. So, it should come as no surprise to you that we are NOT sick this week. My son does NOT have a stomach virus, and even if he did, it would not be NEARLY reason enough for the FIVE loads of laundry I've done over the past day and a half. I have NOT cloroxed everything from the highchair, to the floors, to the WALLS because of "misplaced" liqui-poo, nor have I entered my son's room (what was it honey, 2:45am?) to find him sleeping in said mess. Having said that, I should also make you aware that we ONLY have baths in this house before bedtime. I did NOT plop a messy-head-to-toe boy in the tub after a lunchtime poo-splosion.

And you should know, that because I am ecologically inclined, and also financially frugal, I have NOT used a single disposable diaper throughout the entirety of this event. And not, like, 20 of them either. No sir, we only use cloth in this family. No. matter. what.

And finally, it was NOT ME, (the owner of an all-wheel-drive Subaru, with studded tires) who made it half way to my down-town destination today, and turned around because the snow-on-top-of-ice was just too much for me. Why would I do a crazy thing like that? I lived in Pullman WA after all, a town which above all else is known for three things: Hills, Snow, and Wheat. I pride myself in being able to drive in ANY conditions, and I enjoy the challenge. As such, I would not have settled for a trip to Hy-vee as our only outing of the day. Even if I did, I would not have stopped there for the sole purpose of picking up eight half-gallons of whole milk, each on sale (with coupon) for $0.48. I'm a down-to-earth woman who understands that $0.48 milk is no reason to take your sick toddler out in the negative 21 degree wind chill.

Alright. Whew. Cathartic.
Anyone else?

By the way, in case you, too, think this not-me-ing thing is fun, you should check out this blog, by the woman who started all the not-me-ing in the first place. Great blog.

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