Getting Stuck

I never thought I'd be the type of mother who couldn't watch her children get immunized but, alas, I am "that mother". That mother who must turn away and bite her lip as the nurse puts that tiny needle in her son's thigh. That tiny needle which should, theoretically, protect him from Hepetitis B and other nasty diseases. Why can't I watch? Oh, that one's easy. My son, my offspring, is in pain. Yeah, I'm a softy I know. You see this is the same woman who, while pregnant, swore she would allow her baby to "cry it out" in order to teach him to self soothe, yet now she melts into a bucket of tears when he wails. It's funny how different your viewpoint becomes when the little defensless individual counts on YOU for nearly everything.

Which leads me to another realization I've had recently. In past years I've admittedly been rather hard on other mothers. No, not out loud, not to their faces - but in my own mind I've been both condescending and judgemental. Why would they choose to do A or B when C is obviously the best choice? In the past three weeks I've begun grieving over those past feelings, and truly understanding how difficult dicesion making is when it comes to your kids. Issues such as circumcision, vaccination, co-sleeping, baby-wearing, cloth-diapering, baby-food making, scheduling, breastfeeding and formula feeding become personal decisions. Decisions about these issues quickly shape your parental identity and can bring feelings of guilt and shame when the people closest to you dissagree. Knowing what I know now I am certain I will think twice before I dismiss the careful decision of another mother - it's a lot harder than it looks to decide what's best for your family and your child.

Speaking of cloth diapering, our little man has been in cloth for nearly two weeks now. I wish I had a picture of his cute little cloth covered butt, however the camera rarely makes it into the nursery. Soon enough, soon enough. For our family cloth is working relatively well. Right now we're just using plain old pre-fold diapers with fasteners and plastic velcroable covers. Yeah, he has a pretty puffy butt, and yes, it's more effort to both diaper him and wash his diapers, but we like the concept. He's so little still that he doesn't fit into any of what Jonathan calls his "space diapers' (the bum benious and the fuzzybunz), but that will come in time. We haven't had any leaks or blowouts and, even though we've bought a few packages of disposables for outings etc. I'm sure we've saved some major dough. I'll keep you posted on how this works out as he grows and gets ready to dirty a LOT more diapers.

Little man is sleeping in his carset in fromt of me. It's funny how much is face has changed in just a week. Well, he has gained 14oz in the past four days, so I guess it's believeable that he's a bit chunkier, but I guess I didn't think it could happen so fast. The picture of the day is one of Levi with Daddy last night on the couch. Enjoy, and stay in touch!