My name is Melissa...

...and I have a produce problem (cauliflower, broccoli, bell peppers, grapes x2, celery, carrots, sweet potatoes, onions, garlic, nectarines, peaches, bananas, spinach, green onions, oranges, lemons, avocados, and probably something else I can't see amongst the many produce bags

Or maybe it's a yogurt/egg problem (18 yogurts, @ 4/$1, 2.5dz eggs @ .99/dz!)

I won't bother to mention the 36 boxes of raisins I snagged, nor the 6lb turkey breast for $1.39/lb. I'll also leave out the 10 32oz cans of sliced peaches I had to fit on the bottom of the cart. Let's face it, when I find things on sale, things we FLY through around here, I buy in BULK. Now if only I had a systematic way of organizing it all, I'd be set...

They tried to make me go to rehab, but I said...

NO, NO, NO!

ok, well the rehab part isn't true.

But the NO NO NO part is as true as they come.

I feel like that's all I say these days. Every time I turn around I'm saying NO to something. Here I though I had my house reasonably well baby-proofed (and maybe I really do) but still, my 14 month old will find something to do that is most certainly off limits.

Take, for example, this morning. Levi has taken a particular liking to grabbing onto his high chair tray (from the floor) and hanging on it like a monkey. Surely, it will eventually break, so this deserves a no.

Similarly, he is determined to climb up onto the "oven door" on his play kitchen. Again, it will eventually break, and I'd rather it not. So, that's another no.

We go into his room so I can put away laundry and he takes all of his books and throws them on the floor. not necessarily a no, but I am SO TIRED OF PICKING THEM ALL BACK UP! I swear, I do it at least 5 times a day. As I was picking them up this morning he took the opportunity to empty his clothes drawers. He's lightening fast, Lightening I tell ya.

I could go on to explain how he's decided that ear-piercing screams are allowable whilst in the high-chair for any amount of time beyond 2.5 minutes. I could also lament about the significant increase in really annoying whining we've seen. But I suspect any of you with children will tell me that every kid in the universe does these things. I'm sure you'll tell me he's testing his boundaries, trying to figure out cause and effect. He's figuring out what kind of responses he gets from his actions.

And believe you me, he's figuring that out right quick. If only it could sink in faster.

I case you didn't know, let me tell you that Jonathan and I are not the types of parents to pat our disobeying child on the head, remind ourselves that boys will be boys, and send him on his merry way. We firmly believe that if he's old enough to pitch a fit (which he does, in full-toddler fashion now, on the floor) he's old enough to receive a punishment. As toddlers have especially short memories, we usually opt for a quick switch to the back of the thigh for blatant disobedience, (like the "I know I'm not supposed to do this, but I'm gonna look right at mom and do it anyway" kind of disobedience) and a separation from the family for tantrums (i.e. if you're going to scream, you'll scream in your crib, not at the dinner table). And I'd have to say, both of those things work really well - in the moment.

The trouble is, neither of them seem to carry over. What I mean is, my son could have been punished for, say, smacking the TV with a toy yesterday, and he'll go right back and do it again today, and tomorrow, and the next day. It's like he never stores it away. It's INFURIATING! I know learning is a process, but JEEZE LOUISE!

All that to say, this little "exploring my boundaries" thing our son has going on is driving me NUTZ. I'm sure you're looking at your screen right now saying things like "oh, you just way, it gets better when they can talk back to you!" and "That's NOTHING, he's not even TWO yet!" and believe me, I'm trying to put this all into perspective, but it's truly exhausting, and I feel like the bad guy ALL-DAY-LONG.

I'm coming to find that the only real solution is to get out of the house. He's so much better behaved when we leave the house. He doesn't try to climb up on tall objects, doesn't topple over chairs, doesn't even really fuss. I spend so much less of my energy fighting him, and so much more playing with him. Oh yeah, and when we're out, he actually plays with toys. Go figure. At our house he usually stares at them as if they aren't even there. Maybe he's just bored.

But then again, maybe it's not boredom at all, maybe it's just the familiarity of home as a "safe" place to test things out. And I get that. I know that's necessary and good. But man, I sure wish I didn't have to say "no" so much.

NOT ME Monday

Not Me Monday is a blog carnival that was started by THIS (very pregnant) blogger. I think it's hilarious, and if you do too then you should join me in this guilt relieving practice - it's cathartic.

First things first - I did NOT spend the very first of my waking moments bathing a toddler with poop caked to the insides of his legs and around his middle. I did not follow that up by emptying his sleep sack (which certainly did not lead me to believe he had been literally swimming in poo). Knowing these things happen, I did not run out spray-&-wash attempting to clean the 85 million things that were covered in feces - I plan better than that and always have a spare bottle on hand for such events.

Knowing that my son was getting cranky, and would not particularly enjoy his evening bath, I did not suggest that his father bathe with him. No. It would be inconsiderate of me to ask my wonderful husband to get all wet in a tub filled with 2 inches of tepid water just so I wouldn't have to deal with a whiney 14 month old. I'm certainly not that inconsiderate.

I did not let Levi play in guacamole last night at chipotle. Enough said.

While attending the beautiful farmers' market in the Haymarket this weekend, I did not take full view of all the wonderful, brightly colored vegetables, the sweet corn, fresh tomatoes, and squashes, lettuces & asparaguses (Asparagai?) and yet come home with a bag of cookies to show for my efforts. wow. You've got to know I'm more health-minded than that. Seriously

Speaking of cookies, I did not bake a double batch of Jonathan's favorites (oatmeal-chocolate-chip-walnut) only to find my tender jaw could not handle their firm texture. I am now not lamenting over the fact that they are now truly for him - even though I made sure they were MSPI safe for ME. I'm also not bitter.

I did not realize this weekend that in the two years I've lived in this house, the basement toilet has been cleaned ONCE.... by my mother... just after Levi was born. He's one now.

Noticing that Levi was copying words we were saying to him for a few moments last night, Jonathan did not say say a word we'd rather he not repeat. Of course, Levi did not repeat said word. I did not laugh like a little girl.

Aaaaand I'm sure there are many more, but enough about me. What have you NOT done this week?

My picky toddler - among other news

I have come to the conclusion that "toddler" must be Greek for "picky eater" - or at least Latin for "I'm going to ignore anything that looks healthy for at least the first 125 times you put it in front of me, then I may miraculously decide I like it".

In my great wisdom, I have also discovered that if you offer your toddler a food you don't want him to eat a whole lot of because it really isn't that healthy (think chicken nuggets, hotdogs, etc) it will quickly become his FAVORITE food. You know, the food you put on his tray dead LAST, so he'll have the motivation to at least pick at something remotely nutritious.

My toddler is offered a WIDE variety of foods. In general, I offer him everything we eat. He has a bit of an odd circumstance because he's dairy and soy intolerant, so I must be careful to assure his calcium/protein/calorie/fat needs are met without using cheese, yogurt, cottage cheese, milk, tofu, etc. This limits me a little, but not all that much.

My problem (the problem of EVERY toddler mother in the UNIVERSE, I'd bet) is that one day he'll eat his whole wheat bread drenched in olive oil (gotta get that fat!) and the next he'll turn his nose up to everything but pears. It comes to my attention that this child was WAY better nourished as a 7-month-old who would eat anything I fed him from a spoon. Not so any longer. Spoons have gone the way of bibs. Do you follow?

Take heed moms of smaller babes: get that balanced diet into them while you can, because I am here to tell you that these little people develop a WILL of their own. They also develop taste preferences and (more importantly in our case) texture preferences. They do things like put food in their mouthes, chew it, and then spit it out and hand it to you.

And that is the end of my picky toddler rant.

In other news, Levi and I visited the pediatrician for the umpteenth time this year. After a 3-day fever, Levi developed a spotty rash over his face, chest & back. To make matters worse, my temp is also sky-high. Poor hubby returned home last night (after having arrived at work that day at 3:00am, mind you) to two sickies with grumpy attitudes. our WONDERFUL pediatrician (actually, she's a PA, but I much prefer her to the docs at our practice) assured me he had a normal virus. Apparently some kids break out in spots when their fever breaks. The spots mean the virus is over, and no longer transmutable.

Great news for him. The rest of the household will be in a wait-and-see mode.

So, with a fever, and a recovering toddler, I shall be off to the grocery store this afternoon. Wish me luck.

oye...

Thursday, July 21st; 7:00pm

Mommy: 102.0

Baby: 102.6

Daddy: Has his hands full

Plan of attack: Motrin/tylenol+flexeril, liquids, sleep & prayer. House arrest.

aaaaaaaand I would like to personally thank the academe (of Teague and Rachael Blaske) for the kind nourishment and care they lavished upon us sickies - before we knew we were really this sick, of course.

A post in which I will be opinionated

This was an issue that, at first glance, appeared completely unimportant. I gave it little thought. I shrugged my shoulders and decided that my mind and energy would be better focused elsewhere, like on the determination of what vaccines I would give my child, what dairy substitute we would use (Hy-Vee rice milk won, in case you were wondering) and what if any vitamin supplement we'd give him. All, if you'll notice, pertaining to Levi's health.

It was not until his first birthday that I was faced with a seemingly simple decision: whether to keep him rear-facing in his car seat or turn him around to finally face forwards. Of course I'd turn him around. It was a rite of passage. It was an honor due him at his ripe old age of one. He'd surely enjoy the car more, be easier to entertain, and certainly easier to see in my rear-view mirror. Without a doubt I'd turn him around. The law states that at 20lbs and one year of age, I am perfectly allowed to do so. So I will. And I did.

Once.

Over his birthday weekend I had to swap the carseat into hubby's compact car because or Forester was full of lumber and drywall. He would fit rear facing (RF) in the Geo, but not comfortably, so I turned him around for our quick trip to the store. I was just certain he loved it. Who wouldn't after looking out the back window and seeing the world fly by for a year.

That afternoon at Levi's birthday party a number of mothers began talking to me about the benefits of a RF carseat. I brushed it off. Remember in the past how I've talked about our own need to "protect our own experiences", our own choices? This was one of those circumstances. In my effort to protect the decision I'd made, to prove to myself that I'd made the right one, I ignored them.

But as the night wore on I became more and more unsure of what I though was a rite of passage. While doing a little research the next morning I came to the following discoveries, the collection of which convinced me that keeping Levi in RF position was not only to be my decision, but also part of my duty to responsibly protect him.

• Motor vehicle injuries are the number one leading cause of death in children under age 14
• When a child is in a forward-facing seat, there is stress put on the child's neck, which must hold the head back. The mass of the head of a small child is about 25% of the body mass whereas the mass of the adult head is only 6%
• Spinal cord injury, one of the most common injuries sustained by forward facing children in harness restraints, can cause temporary or life-long paralysis, or death.

Of course, all of this is null and void if the car seat in question is not properly installed. It would be better to have a child properly restrained in a forward facing position, than to have them improperly restrained in either position. Would you believe that a full 72% of car seats are improperly installed? Furthermore, would you believe that not all car seats fit in all cars? More important than the direction the child is facing, is most certainly the correct fit and installation of both the seat into the car, and the child into the seat.

But back to my quandary. When faced with what one mother told me ("the direction the child faces can be the difference between whip lash, and a broken spinal cord after a head-on collision," The most common type of collision, accounting for 96%) I couldn't put my son's perceived desires above my responsibility to protect him any longer. If I watch him like a hawk in the bathtub (drowning is the 2nd leading cause of death among children), and cut his food into bits so he doesn't choke; if I lock up the household cleaners, and store medications up high, why on earth would I knowingly expose him to the risk of paralysis?

Furthermore, if turning him forward is only a matter of what I assume will be his added enjoyment of car rides, what kind of parent would I show myself to be? One who diminishes safety in the name of fun? In that case, why should I require him to wear a helmet when he rides in daddy's bike trailer? The majority (85% of parents) don't make their kids wear them after all. And bike accidents are so much less common than auto collisions. Why does it even matter? I say this mostly in Jest, we all know why we make our kids wear helmets. We all have the "what if" scenarios go through our heads and they almost undoubtedly lead to a feeling of tremendous guilt on our behalf should the unthinkable happen.

So what if the unthinkable did happen?

I'm praying it won't. And I'm sure you are too. But I'm also going to keep Levi rear facing to the full capacity of his restraint - likely past his second birthday.

How to know you're a native washintonian, transplanted to Nebraska

In case you have trouble identifying yourself, here are some clues:

• When you see the abbreviation "NE" you think it likely means "north east"
• WSU obviously stands for Washington State University (where's Wichita again?)
• When someone complains about "traffic" you tell them they haven't experienced traffic unless they've sat somewhere on the 1-5 corridor between 4-6pm on a Friday, or sat on US26 between Pullman and Colfax after a home game.
• You don't recognize it's raining until it's done so for at least a couple hours, or maybe a few days in a row
• Humidity makes you gasp and ask the nearest person if the world is about to end
• You declare that the person who designs Nebraska license plates should probably keep their day job.
• You wonder when the Midwest will grow up and sprout some mountains
• People chastise you, and sometimes even laugh, for the nalgene bottle you carry around with you everywhere - on it's own REI carabeaner no-less
• You wonder "Who is Dorothy Lynch?" and "What is wrong with the bright red hot-dogs"?
• You are amazed that there is actually a "minimum speed" posted right along side the speed limit on the interstate
• You grab your family and start digging a sub-basement at the very thought of a tornado
• You shop at Hy-Vee, close your eyes, and imagine you're at Safeway
• You shop at Super-Saver, close your eyes, and imagine you're at Winco
• You recall your parents telling you they paid more than TWICE for their home what you did for yours - and they bought theirs 20 years prior
• You think there really could be a small club for Subaru Forester owners, all of whom could fit comfortably in the local highschool gym
• People ask you what this "north-face" thing is all about, and why you and your husband both support them
• You frequent FOUR different health-food stores and STILL cannot come up with the variety of edibles found exclusively at Trader Joes (and yet you're hopeful that the rumor about one being built 45 miles North, in Omaha, is true!!)
• At times, you begin to wonder if "culture" means much more than yogurt
• You DREAM of the day when Clearwire comes to the middle of the country.
• You laugh under your breath when you hear what your friends back home are paying for gas - (and cars - and houses - and food...)

and last but not least (as I'm SURE I'll continue to think of these throughout the day)

• You LONG for the Puget Sound, the crisp waterfront air, the Cascade mountains, to whom you bid farewell last Christmas and vowed to return the following year.